What kind of stepmum do you want to be?

[CurlyRover]

My counsellor asked me this a few days ago as I mentioned we are having issues with DSD.

I know what kind of stepmum I don't want to be but I haven't quite figured out who I do want to be or really how to get there. I know I don't want to be shouty, angry, aggressive and always having to be right like my parents. I want to be a person she can talk to. I can talk to my aunty in a way I could never talk to my parents and I want to be that person for DSD.

I find it so so difficult to step back and not get involved with things like when she's having a meltdown. How do people do it?

What kind of stepmum are you / do you want to be?

Here's my answer to that:

I want to be the kind of step mum that did her best to do right by the children and keep them safe and healthy.

My best should be good enough and if it isn't then I tried bloody hard.

I don't think anyone can ask more than that. And I think doing your best is what counts.

So I've made lots of sacrifices and I compromise and I come last. But thems the breaks for love.

I hope that my step daughter sees me how i like to think i am.

I treat her the same as my other children, i am a mum figure but i am not her mum, the 3 parents together make decisions we don't always agree but we do work things out. I step back when needed , after giving my input. i am open and honest with her, she will 99% come to me before either bio parent with an issue, and i will either deal with it and inform the after or involved straightaway. i can be shouty but no more so then with my others normal teenage do your chores, get up, your late etc.. i tell the kids often that we are a team and we all need to help each other (best laid plans lol, doesn't always work) inclusion and compassion is what i like to think is the best way for a step parent.