Is chaos and mayhem normal with a 'blended' fanily

[Greenbigtree]

When my oh and I have just my dd, it's fine, stress free. When my oh and I have his dc, again fine and stress free BUT when we are all together, bloody hell its hard work. The house feels full of choas and mayhem that I often feel tense and my oh then get stressed with each other.

I'm not from a big family, so I'm
Not used to being surrounded by so many!

How many kids do you have between you?

Larger families are chaotic, but fun! You always have your own "gang"

Three with one on the way. I think it boils down to the fact that we are crammed in to a small house with little escape! We are in the process of moving somewhere bigger where kids will properly have their own space - then I won't have to make up that I need a wee just to have a few mins to myself amongst the chaos!

The space will be a godsend with 3! How old are they? And a mixture of sexes too! We only had one between us (DPs 7 y/o son) and we found our two bed cottage to be a nightmare - he needed more space and that was being a single child

He's now got a baby brother being born tomorrow so we've had to upscale but even still it's a tad too small.

So yes, mayhem is the norm - tbh, it will be mayhem with 3 fully biologically linked children I think

In a word, yes. It's pretty normal here.

I went from being a single parent with 2DC to in a family of 8 (4 DSC) . It was a massive change to get used to. Thankfully the DSC weren't with us full time, so I had a bit of time to recharge. But you do get used to it and a certain level of chaos just feels quite normal to me now.

I only have one DSS, he visited EOW with a midweek visit on the weeks in between. We're not short of space, so that wasn't an issue - but the drama, insanity and Disney parenting by DH made the whole thing feel like a circus (when it didn't need to) and I found it exhausting, and nothing remotely like normally family life. DH had to comply with the most ridiculous logistics to keep the ex happy, and I'm not sure (even with the benefit of hindsight) if DSS got anything positive out of those years.

I find it a very stressful chaos. They will all have breakfast/dinner etc fine, but playing is just hyperactive. They scream, they bicker and all drive me mad. I find myself nagging.

My oh also is a bit Disney with behaviour when my dd is around as he's worried that if he tells his kids off, they will tell their mum that he told them off rather than my dd!

Large families produce chaos and mayhem whether they are blended or not, tbh. You want to be raising individuals with their own personalities and ability to succeed - to impose absolute order in a large family environment would be counter productive to everyone involved. Learn to carve out space and time for yourself to stop it being overwhelming.