Find being a step parent to pre teen really hard!

[Thatslife72]

It's hard being a step mum and I needed somewhere to vent were people may understand, I love my partner very much we have a great relationship but as I knew it would having my 2 children and looking after his 2 children as well is hard ! Their mum hardly has them so I pretty much do everything for them. They are good children really but I find his oldest daughter soon to be 12 difficult, I know it's her age and I do make allowances for that my daughter is 12 so I know only too well how they can be.

The problem is my step daughter takes things, nothing of great value but things like my daughters clothes, make up a few of my things have turned up in her room, but if I confront her she always has a story about how she has exactly the same thing, her mum got it her etc, and sometimes I then doubt myself and think oh maybe she has then, but there's been too many things that have been a coincidence! My daughters phone went missing , it was in her room one minute then it was gone, I was suspicious buried couldn't prove anything. I think it was because my own daughters dad gave her his old phone and said if u don't loose it u can have an iPhone for your birthday. My step daughter didn't want my daughter to have a better phone than her so I think she took it but I can't prove it! There are lots of these examples, sometimes I know she's lying ! I talk to her dad about it but he's oblivious, thinks she's not capable! But he soon shouts or deals with my daughter if she does something, the difference is she doesn't deny things . His daughter is a very good liar at times.

I saw a few of my things in her bag the other day just make up things that have gone missing, but if I say anything she will deny and her dad will stick up for her, so I just left it and have just been out to replace them!

But it's annoying me, I kind of feel resentful towards her even though I shouldn't , I feel if it was my daughter I could deal with it but as its her I have to put up with things, it sounds petty but this is a small example and I'm fed up, what would u do ?

[Thatslife72]

My dd did actually set up her phone to record while she was out the room , it did catch her come in to her room and take a hairband put her hair up and walk out, but u know a hairband isn't really crime if the century is it!?

[HormonalHeap]

May not be crime of century but it is normal to ask before going into someone's room and taking something...

[Thatslife72]

Well it was proof she went into her room and helped herself !

[Wdigin2this]

Indeed it was, and I presume you are going to show her DF any other evidence you find! However, it's not always that simple! I have a friend whose partner's DS was stealing money from everyone in the family! The DF just would not not accept his DS was a thief, so she left her purse available with a camera on it (couldn't tell you what techno was used, as I don't understand it). Anyway, the DSS opened the purse took money and put the purse in a different place, his DF on being shown this evidence, promptly shouted out, 'We're not staying where my DS is spied on!' and left!!! Well, obviously she's better off without him, but it was a hell of a shock at the time, and they never came back!