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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

What did you do with step children when on labour/baby due

18 replies

Bigbanger · 14/08/2014 22:55

Not step child but bf child.

Just wondered what what everyone else did around time baby due/labour if child lived to far away to drop home at short notice and there would be no one at all to leave the child with?

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Elizabeth120914 · 15/08/2014 06:41

We have this problem ourselves I'm hoping MIL will do a couple of weekends...

TheMumsRush · 15/08/2014 06:52

We would have taken them home but it fell on a non contact weekend. They can as usual the following weekend and met their brother :)

TheMumsRush · 15/08/2014 06:52

Came*

captainproton · 15/08/2014 06:57

DC1 arrived when DSS was with us, she was 2 weeks early and my waters went at 2am. We all went to the hospital and as DSS was not my child he sat in the reception are with DH whilst I was alone with the midwife.

He was 10 and scared stiff, would not let DH leave him for a minute. DBIL had to get a 90 quid taxi to come and sit with him.

DH appeared by my side just before her head appeared and tbh I was doing much better without him!

Second time around DSS thankfully went home 2 days before I went into labour.

Redshoes7 · 15/08/2014 09:07

I'm trying to work that situation out at the moment. At the moment we're probably going with MIL.

LittleBearPad · 15/08/2014 09:11

Isn't it pretty much the same question whether the older child is a step child or your own. There's always a question of childcare when a younger sibling is born.

Grandparents are often the answer.

needaholidaynow · 15/08/2014 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elizabeth120914 · 15/08/2014 10:59

In our case we don't have any other children so only dsd to worry about. Her mum isn't an option as it's a long way away so I'm hoping depending on when it happens MIL will step in but they are going away a lot so it will just be luck if it falls right.. If not we have a major problem!

needaholidaynow · 15/08/2014 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elizabeth120914 · 15/08/2014 11:48

3 weeks to go! Got her this weekend so fingers crossed we won't have an early one!

gertiegusset · 15/08/2014 11:53

Same as you do when you have a second or third child I'd imagine.
Arrange care if necessary, mine stayed the night with a friend.

brdgrl · 15/08/2014 12:24

DH's own stepmum flew in and stayed with the older kids so that he could stay at mine with me and DD for the first few days.

Elizabeth120914 · 15/08/2014 12:37

Our problem is that dsd doesn't know any of our friends so if MIL isn't available we have a big problem! Fingers crossed it won't happen

StercusAccidit · 15/08/2014 12:53

Its not always that easy though, especially when, like me, you have the ex lurking in the background, nit picking and telling the kids that your baby isn't their brother/sister ... and not wanting them left with 'your' friends, or your parents, instead wanting them returned to her care.

As she'd been busy being such a bitch, p was lazy and left ALL the childcare and running about to me, i simply stopped them from coming a week before i was due so i could have a well deserved break and time with DS.

Bearing in mind i'd had them without thanks or extra money for the six week holiday (so she could keep the money she got for them and spend it on new baby items for her latest addition) and i had to spend all my money saved for my babys things on the kids as she sends them without clothes and with holes in their shoes (despite regular maintenance which openly gets spent on the other children) I thought she'd be more than happy for ME to have two child free weeks

If the ex is as obstructive as the one in my case, it can make things hard.

needaholidaynow · 15/08/2014 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Bigbanger · 15/08/2014 13:43

Bf child contact weekend is the weekend baby is due (baby might not come then I know bit need to cover all basis!

None of my family local and going on the basis I have never had a labour longer than 40 mins before I am going on the basis that this one will prob be very similar!

My friend (single mother) will be on standby to step in and tend to my children when it happens but have issue of bf child as it will leave everyone stranded as along with friend, her children and mine all seats in car will be filled!

Bf child lives a 2 hour round trip away!

Trying to decide what to do for best, should we chsnge this weekend and bf can see his child during week if all is well and then pick child up as soon as possible to meet new baby?

OP posts:

Original poster

Bigbanger · 15/08/2014 13:46

It's easy to arrange my children but struggling with issues surrounding bf child as they know none of these people and then we incur transport issues due to amount of kids already involved

OP posts:

SureFootedWhispher · 17/08/2014 19:24

You can't be sure that the baby will come on that weekend? That idea could work though.

When I went into labour DSS stopped with their mum for 3 weeks to give me time to bond and recover. They visited in hospital while we were there.

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