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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Views please

13 replies

Madethebedx · 26/12/2013 20:13

Hey folks, can anyone relate to this? You have a dp, been in relationship for 3.5 years, he has a kid and your family treats her same as their own grandchildren in every possible way! You and dp now have a dc together, dps "friend" aka skid godfather and he has the absolute cheek to come to your house to give skid a Xmas present acting completely ignorant to the newer younger addition to the family and bringing him not even a card??? I'm shocked at the ignorance and sooo pissed off. I am not a materialistic person and I'm aware dc wouldn't know anything about it but that's just bad manners or am I completely wrong to think like this?

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purpleroses · 26/12/2013 20:19

I think it could be a godparent thing. My own kids don't have god parents. But my DSC do. They each have different god parents, who are mostly friends of DP's or his ex's. They each only give a present to their own god child, not the siblings. I think that's what they think being a god parent is about - having a special relationship with just that child.

So I wouldn't take it as a shun on your new child. A card to the whole family would be nice though. Send one back to them, and make sure to sign it from all of you.

marriednotdead · 26/12/2013 20:21

I have a very blended family to say the least, so I can imagine the scenario although I don't recall such behaviour from any of our friends.

In that situation, your DP needs to have words with HIS friend about equal treatment of HIS DCs while you seethe maintain a dignified silence.

HermioneWeasley · 26/12/2013 20:25

Not unusual for a godparent to only buy for their godchild - it's supposed to be a special relationship.

2whippetsnobed · 26/12/2013 20:28

Would agree that a God parent buys only for their god child. I know growing up myself and my two siblings had different god parents which only bought for their respective god child. We never saw anything wrong in it as children.

NigellasDealer · 26/12/2013 20:31

but if he is her godparent then it is OK.

Original poster

Madethebedx · 26/12/2013 20:34

Well personally I think it's a load of shite, and I suppose I could say my mother has a special relationship with dc but wouldn't dream of coming here with a gift for dc and not dsc iyswim? But thanks so much for your views and it's good to know that other people see it as quite normal :)! X

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DejaVuAllOverAgain · 26/12/2013 22:09

Depends...would your DP's friend give your DSD a present if she wasn't his godchild?

If no then I see no problem, he's doing it because of the godparent/child relationship. If yes then maybe your DP could have a word.

Original poster

Madethebedx · 26/12/2013 23:00

Well he wrote on the card lots of love uncle ... And aunty ... So there is nothing that refers to god child as such. She was christened before I met dp so don't know if would make a difference or not. If the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't even dream of doing that. Plus the man grew up with my dp and are good friends so surely our e's should be recognised in some way? Even be it a card?

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Original poster

Madethebedx · 26/12/2013 23:00

DS* x

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Maybe83 · 26/12/2013 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Madethebedx · 27/12/2013 00:08

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SillyMillyOnAHilly · 27/12/2013 00:32

How old is your DC. If they are very young then the 'friend' may have assumed that your DC wouldn't have noticed they did have their own present.

I agree with those that have said that godparents often only buy for their godchildren. The 'friend' may have thought that your DC would have their own godparent to buy them presents.

Original poster

Madethebedx · 27/12/2013 05:32

Hmmm well if that's the reason then maybe slightly more acceptable but he is a family friend and to be fair, there is not a religious bone in his body so it looks a bit hypocritical if I'm honest. My dc wouldn't have noticed but I did and if he wants to exclude dc he can go to dsd mothers with gift in future.

Rant over!

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