Do I dare dip my toe into the world of step parenting?

[Morethanicanchew]

I've met an amazing guy who I am head over heels about. He feels the same.

We have both recently separated from spouses and met through work (he joined my company after him and ex split as they worked together and agreed it would be better if they didnt). Neither of us was actively looking to date as our separations are so recent but we have totally clicked.

I have a ds (3) and he has 2 dds (5,2)

Things seem to be moving very fast between us and we haven't met each others kids or talked about it in detail but I am starting to panic that I may have bitten off more than I can chew getting involved with someone with two daughters who are young and hurting from their parents separation. He has 50/50 with his ex as do I so we only see each other when neither of us have the kids.

But if we continue (which I hope we do) then I would really like to meet them at some point. Is it best that they meet you first as daddy's girlfriend or not? I thought as all the kids are closeish in age then maybe I could just be "daddy's friend from work" for a bit who we did stuff with. I don't want them to feel I am suddenly in their house with their dad as I know the pain of their parents separating must be very raw for them.

Help! This is all new!

At those ages, I think you'd get away with the "daddy's friend from work" for the first while - certainly if your DP is generally a sociable person and hangs out with other parents with kids anyway a bit.

Just keep it casual at first - eg meet up at the park and let the kids play together or interact freely with each of you. Or even ask him along to the park or something with some other friends of yours with similar aged kids at first, so that it feels a very natural kind of setting for two parents with similar aged children to be meeting up.

I agree with being a friend to start with, gradually they will accept you as a person before having to accept you as a girlfriend.

But my main advice would be to slow down!
The children are the only ones who will be seriously hurt if anything goes wrong, so give yourselves time to get to know each other before you become too much to the children.

Good luck! And welcome to the club!