Dss less of the d! Not a good morning!

[nobodyreally]

There have been ongoing issues with ss since I've known my dh. It's 8.16 and I've had a basin full.

So this morning my car key went missing, which sent ss into a spiral of shit!!! He's 13 if this makes any difference. They have to get thd bus at 7.20am, he and my 2 similar age Dcs. Bus money was in thd car. Key was missing.

I told them all where the key had to be, being Dcs they didn't look properly. I was 2 floors up bf the baby. Ss threw a strop because I wouldn't stop immediately and look for the keys....

Anyway he refused to help, then the nightmare began.

This morning he has: cut his own hair on my work bench with my 6" blade scissors. Recently sharpened for fabric. Hair all over my work. He has thrown a packet of sausage rolls in thd kitchen floor open, helping himself to 3. I've noticed that he wiped his sticky tomato fingers the night before on my brand new green skirt, I was wearing to work this morning. He then sat in his x box and refused to budge and help look for keys. I walked into his room took x box away, so he hid under covers. After several calls from his father he eventually left for school leaving stair gate open and patio door open. Patio one floor up and baby narrowly escaped falling down metal steps and a concrete landing.

Words escape me.......I have tried previously to get done help, but I'm not his mother so it's hopeless. This morning was horrendous. It's not always his bad but when it is I just want to cry.

I missed out the spitting incident sorry!

[cuppa]

Time for his Dad to step in and manage the morning routine as his DS refuses to acknowledge your authority.

It's not your problem how he achieves it - changes his working hours, or whatever - but you don't have to tolerate this - its placing your DC in danger and you at risk of accusations

Thankyou. I have finally got a cuppa. Everyone at school/nursery. I'm late for work but it's my own business so only me to tell myself off!

I phoned dh and said quite obviously I'm cross and rattled off 5 of the disasters. Dh said you missed 6...the baby could have fallen down the balcony steps. He went on to say I'm really really disappointed.

We had a chat with all the dc last night about authority and help and expectations and respect. Actually this morning is a result of ss, but they were all given the same talk last night so not to single ss out. I have hidden the x box, the laptop etc. They have a half day today and I may still be at work when thd older ones get home, so if left he will just please himself.

Dh and I run our own businesses. He can't currently restrict his hours until the new year when cash flow will evidently be much more fruitful. In the mean time it's going to be hard.

You'd think I'd be used to this after 4 yrs

I've written ss a letter. New tack!! Never tried that before! You never know maybe a snippet of it might go in!

How old is your baby?

A year old

His behaviour was the same as this before the baby was born, actually it was worse.

I wondered if it was a new baby and he was jealous. But that's good his behaviour has improved over the last year.

Thirteen is a tough age. Very soon he's going to be so busy doing his hair in front of the mirror and spraying on Lynx before he leaves for school that he won't have time to throw sausage rolls. In the meantime, could you try and be very much available for the teenagers/older children in that crucial 15 minutes before they leave the house? Is it possible your DSS would not have behaved in quite the same loutish way if you'd been on hand, in the kitchen?

Sounds like you need a medal for having all those children to look after AND running your own business.

My ds is 14 and my dd12, he slots right in the middle. I've always wondered whether he has something underlying as his reaction to things is sooo very extreme. He can't rationalise things the way others do. He always struggles when something unusual happens out of routine. He has had counselling in the past and all sorts of other help, but basically because I'm not his real mum, my ideas are never taken into consideration. I know nothing!!! I'm just the one who looks after him

Letter was a waste of time add to the list of hopeless efforts