Have you got what it takes to be a Wicked Stepmum

[MJinSparklyStockings]

(light hearted - please post your own question)

When the DSCs come to stay do you
A) try to have some family time
B) go out
C) DSCs - who are they?? Oh you mean the creatures he locks in the cellar ever other??

When your DH's ex calls for the 50th time that day ranting about what a terrible/wicked person you are for doing anything for DSC do you
A:hang up and cry your eyes out for hours
B:yell back at her calling her a crazy bitch
C:grin and bare it in an attempt to stop it escalating into all out war

Your DSC poses a leading question or makes an unkind remark about their mother do you
A) Immediately respond correcting the child's foolish comment with gushing praise for their mother.
B) Look left, look right, twitch a little, rack your brains for the appropriate response - if you answer kindly then you're sucking up, if you answer unkindly then youre a bitch.. then scurry away in silence and get back to something you should be doing i.e. washing your DSCs clothes or picking up their mess.
C) Answer honestly adding that you also find her to be lazy, selfish, grabbing and looks like mutton dressed as lamb?????

When it is time to help your DSC get mum a Christmas pressie, do you..

a) Buy something genuinely lovely because you get on so well and it will give you pleasure to gaze upon it next time you're all round hers for coffee,
b) Buy something polite, neutral and safe because you are all maintaining an adult relationship for the sake of the children, or
c) Encourage your DSC to make her something utterly hideous that she will then be obliged to display in her home thus ruining her decor scheme?

Your DP tells you that yet again the ex has insisted he swap access days because of an appointment she simply cant miss, but its on a day you have plans do you
A) smile, say no problem, cancel plans and start organising a family friendly activity
B) give a big sigh but be resigned to the fact that you will be going to your planned event on your own
C) throw a huge tantrum and sulk for the rest of the week

At the moment, I think CHelen is winning with

when it is time to help your DSC get mum a Christmas pressie, do you..

c) Encourage your DSC to make her something utterly hideous that she will then be obliged to display in her home thus ruining her decor scheme?

The santa smiley is appropriately demonic

When it is time to draw up the next contact rota, do you...

a) get together, share diaries and draw up a plan which accommodates the hopes, needs and wishes of all involved children and adults,
b) stick like glue to your time-honoured regime of EOW as the kids no where they are and it's the only way to avoid a spat, or
c) suggest the exact opposite of what you actually want in a desperate high-stakes double-bluff attempt to get a romantic weekend away this side of 2015?

Sorry - KNOW not NO grrrr!

This thread is cheering me up, ive been sat at home on my own because god forbid DP be allowed to stay in our own home when he has the DSC! And after falling down the stairs and driving myself to A&E (I dont recommend driving with only your right arm) instead of sitting here feeling sorry for myself ive been thinking how great it would be if questions like these where asked before getting involved with anyone with children, how many of us would have answered differently before becoming a sm?

It would be like the theory driving test but for step-parents

When the DSC's come to stay, do you:
A) Cook a nice family meal of things that everyone likes to eat?
B) Give them what is in the fridge, like it or lump it?
C) Go out to a restaurant and leave them at home with some stale crusts to gnaw on.

C) stale crusts to knaw on

When one of the dcs says that they are going on an expensive school trip you had no say on do you)
A) pretend you haven't heard then
B) go off on one about, bee gum, younger happy with a trip to next door in your day
C) silently sigh and dig the money out of your ever expanding shrinking budget

When your DH tells his SD that her boyfriend can sleep over without even mentioning it to you do you....

a) Congratulate him on being open minded, but seethe inwardly that he didn't tell you.
b) Leave some condoms and a copy of the Karma Sutra on the bedside table so they make the most of it.
c) deal with the rudeness by saying "Ooh it sounds like they're having fun" every time you hear a squeak from their room so he lies in bed clutching the mattress, pretending that he really is OK that some randy teenager is sleeping with his daughter.

Pmpl c again.

Barf that's fab!!!

Have you ever given your DSC a black eye with a frozen chicken?
Ever sent your SDC out to pick up holly leaves, without gloves,
Ever made the poor kid clear up rabbit entrails from the patio, left behind by the cat?
Mine did!