Got to meet "the wife" tonight.

[SingleStep]

Hello new friends.

I've got to meet the wife tonight - really not looking forward to it. (To recap, dp left her for being nasty and belittling - they have 2 kids, she wont allow the kids to spend time with me and my child. Been saying she wants to meet me first but always making excuses why she cant on any particular day).

Anyway now she wants to go away so of course its convenient to meet up now. - although this was only after she tried to threaten him saying "You have 2 choices, you can look after them here (her house) or you can look after them at your mum's"

We live together!!!!

He actually stood up to her which mgiht be the first time ever aside from leaving - and said "no you have 2 choices, I look after them as I see fit or you don't go away" Finally!

Anyway - so of course now it suits her to meet up. Help me please! Some cyber hugs or advice would help a lot

Good Luck. It will probably be fine. Its a lot easier for people to be off when the person they are being off about isn't stood in front of them.

Since you would be well within your rights not to meet her at all, I think you're going above and beyond anyway.

Take a deep breath and be lovely as anything.
:)

Good luck, as CH says your going above and beyond..

I still havent formally met DP's exW and thats how its staying

Hope it all goes ok.

You will probably find she will be lovely to your face - and then slate you continuously to all her mates and family :)

When I met dh's ex I had a stinking cold and felt bloody awful, it was the last place I wanted to be!!

Just be yourself. Be friendly but not her best mate, be nice to her children but not so she feels threatened. Just be normal!!

I was thinking - brief hello, nice to meet you, good bye. Now I find out she wants us to bring wine and for us to sit down and chat for half an hour.

I really dont want to. Am thinking about cancelling.

Should I just bite the bullet and do it?

I just don't get this - on either side.
If she is still refusing to let him have kids if she doesn't then I can see why he wants you to - although I can;t see why he isn't standing up to her in this "she won't allow" - doesn't he have regular defined contact, and doesn't HE (and kids) choose what happens in that time?

Hi ChasingSquirrels

You're absolutely right of course - however that would require a rational human being. Which she is clearly not.

I offered to meet her so that we could have the girls here.

Anyway - I did it - thank you people who replied. I did feel "hugged"!!

She was incredible. She was nice to me of course - but she was so belittling to him! I mean I always believed him when he said she was like that, but I thought she would at least put on a show of being nice. But no. She clearly thinks that a normal way to treat another human being. What a surprise she's single....