We gotta get outta this place, if it's the last we ever do.......

[debs40]

God, don't you hate the first day back at school?

After a whole week off, plus a couple of days illness, DS was not best pleased about returning to school this morning. He'd also had a weekend away as we'd gone to stay with friends where he'd had a major meltdown on a day out. So, we're all quite drained.

Lots of preparation and an early morning rise got him in. We go into the class first now.

Teacher and TA are in class. They ignore us. DS won't go into class. They still ignore us. I sit him down outside the class. SENCO walks past us and into class (he's taking class today) and he ignores us.

So, I've got DS1 who won't go into class, and DS2 with me also and no one moves to encourage him in.

So, I say loudly 'ok then I shall leave you here and go'. DS screams and runs after me dragging me back.

Still no movement from class.

I then take DS in. He's hiding behind me. They eventually say hello. I say 'he's feeling a bit shy'. Then they try and speak to him about what they've been doing in the holidays etc and I can eventually remove myself.

But you know when you know you're a pain.

I then bumped in to DS' TA who was on the Early Bird Plus course with us and who got moved. We haven't chatted or seen her for ages. She hadn't a clue he was having trouble going into the classroom. She'd been told it was all fine. it's a numbers game she says and he clearly doesn't justify resources in their mind. They don't see this as part of teaching.

We need to get outta this place! We were at friends at the weekend who live in the south west and we could get a house there for much cheaper than here and we would avoid the grammar school system too. Just need to get DH a job!

fingers crossed Debs it can work for you!

what a horrible, depressing first morning back at school.

I hope you find something, Debs. You definitely can't carry on like that

I know. I can see they just see this sort of thing as not 'education'; just not part of their remit.

Yep first day back is terrible, ds gets into a panic, its like he has never been there before. He says he cannot remember what school or his teacher look like. He cant remember anyones name. I asked the school if they could provide a picture of the class room and his teacher etc, they look at me as if to say dont be silly!

I cant wait to get out of there too.

Perhaps we should start our own school Debs

Yay, a free school for all our poor kids where they can thrive and wear what they want and come to school in the pyjamas and have a lie down in the middle of the day - that would be nice!!

I'm sorry that first day back has been such a nightmare for yuo debs, and you too claw.

Unbelievable that no one is willing ot help a small child who is clearly uncomfortable going into the classroom - I would expect help even without SN, tbh.

Claw - re: photos - do you have a camera on your phone, or a digital camera?

I'd just g in one day, when dropping off, and breezily say "oh, we're making a weekly timetable up for ds - it would be so much easier for him to follow if he had pics on it rather than symbols - do you mind?" and snap away. Print them yourself - job done.

I've doen it for years. You do get the odd look, but I've not had any refusals

Joking aside, dd1 is now at a school set up by a mum who couldn't get adequate provision for her ds. It is the main reason we chose it - it is flexible, accomodating, you name it.

And apparently the Tories are going to make setting up schools easier for parents...

Oh yes definitely pj's, im having trouble getting ds to wear anything else lately. He looks so stiff and uncomfortable in his uniform.

School dinners of skinny chips everyday and a quiet safe spot for everyone to retreat to when overwhelmed and no one is allowed to say "he doesnt look distressed" or "you should tell the teacher"

Debs

Sorry to read about your crap morning.

You truly need to find another school sharpish as this one is just awful.

How's the Statement application coming along, have you submitted it yet?. Even with a Statement in place though I would not trust this school to impliment it fully.

Silver, yes i have camera and phone, ds even has his own camera.

Parents are not 'allowed' in the class room, not just me any parent. The children line up outside the class room and TA comes out to escort them in. I would have to request permission and the answer would be it would disrupt the class.

Hopefully, we wont have to suffer this school for too much longer. Which reminds me i will give new school a ring.

debs why did you not alert the staff to your presence at the door?

Cyb - I didn't need to alert them, they could see me! And him, stressing out. They just ignored us. Plus the SENCO actually had to step around DS to get into the class. Sorry, but this one really isn't my fault.

Attila, we have dx report this month and I've got an independent SALT seeing DS at the end of the month. I am applying after the dx report.

But you are dead right - this school will be a battle even with a statement and '36 in a class next year' as they keep reminding me. Plus, there is every possibility it could convert to an Academy. It being 'outstanding' and all! I'd be buggered then even with a statement.

I just think - if I HEd for a bit, a big part of the stress would go from our lives. But then am I doing that for him or me? He is alright in class once settled. It's just once he's off school, he never wants to go back!

claw - dear god, it just gets worse and worse! still, all the more ammunition for your SA - school refusing simplerequests ot help ds feel more comfortable at school, etc.

debs - I'd realy think about applyingnow - nothing happens for a few weeks anyway (which willtake you past dx appt) while they decide what to do. And if you wait, you are approaching that end of term area, where LEAs just sit on requests, as summer break approaching. which just delays everyhting for another couple of months.

Thanks Silverfrog. I have the dx report two weeks on Thurs though. Do you not think it is worth waiting and banging that off too? It should also have the OT report added to it.

It would be a basic skeleton request but do you think this is enough to get the ball rolling?

For my initial request, I usedthe standard IPSEA letter.

It was a few lines long, with a very brief outline of dd1'sneeds (admittedly I did have a dx at that point, but I really only said "dd1 needs assessing because she has ASD and is having trouble settlingat preschool")

I would fire off the letter, initiating the process. iirc (how quickly you forget!) the LEA have 6 weeks ot get back to you with their decision, from reciept of request. I would outline the difficulties your ds is having, and sya you have dx appt in 2 weeks, and will forward the verdict once oyu have it (I assume this is a paperwork appt, and you've had a verbal dx?)

if you wait until you have the piece of paper (and bear in ind you won't ge tit at the appt, you'll prob have to wait a few more weeks ofr it) then all the facts are the same, just a few weeks further dwn te line.

God - this is terrible! (if you are moving SW I know a good school - Ds2's TA meets him every morning in the entrance hall but they have a different system for each child, depending on need)

Oooh, tell me where-ish??

Near where a very famous music festival takes place . Have you got CAT? If so, email me and I'll let you know. Can't be more specific on here as I've been very detailed about the school in some posts.