VERY UN PC HELP NEEDED(autism related)

[2shoeshissbangwhoosh]

I hope this doesn't offend in any way.........
dd is 14 and has cp, she is very vunerable as she can't remove herself from a "scarey" situation and has to rely on the carer to do it for her........
I am in a process of doing a list of reasons why a certain college will not be suitable for her (we want her to stay where she is)
now for the un pc bit........

at the suggested college their are a lot of students with DS and autism......
so if one of the young people with autism(remember they are 16 -19) had a meltdown..what kind of "scarey" things could happen......

now obviously I need the bad stuff, please don't flame me, I need to use everything I can think of to keep dd where she is.

wel my ds is only almost 4 with autism so i can only go on what he does in meltdown which is hit out, headbut, scratch and sometimes though not often bite. he is very agressive and its only getting worse, i can truely see him at 16ish throwing people around a room as thats what he attempts now, hes just not srong enough yet, though not far off sadly!!

DS used to bite, scratch, pinch, slap, punch, kick and throw furniture.

If you want, I can ask my brothers girlfriend. She works with autistic adults.

Although she has mentioned being held in held locks, by the throat, punched and body slammed. (Not her, some of the other staff)

Hi, i'm not going to flame you but both my daughters are Autistic and have never shown any signs of violence (never hit ,punch, kick etc..).

My cousin works with Autistic children aged 7-19 and has only been hit once (by a 19 year old).

If the school is set up to support children with Autism then there should not be any risk of your child coming in to contact with a child having a melt down, staff are trained on how to handle melt downs (by removing the child from the situation).

Kicking, throwing, screaming - which can then upset others and cause them to have a meltdown. I have had to tell my own younger children to leave the room before now, so can imagine getting out of the way of danger quickly could be an issue. Something could happen between the child getting upset and a member of staff getting to the child to remove them from the situation. My son got scratched quite badly whilst he and another child were out of sight for a matter of minutes and neither of them were really able to explain what happened.

Although the children are older and may have more strategies to control their feelings etc, on the other hand they are so much bigger and so if they do get upset are a lot harder to physically handle.

I think you'd have to be careful how you word it though, you don't want to sound like you have some kind of downer against Autism - it might set the wrong tone for you argument.

My son who is 15 has meltdowns where he punches me in the head and kicks me but he's never 'lost it' at school since he was about 9 theres more structure at school so most asd kids cope better.

DS is almost 11 and he is particularly violent in that he kicks doors, radiators, walls and furniture. He punches himself and sometimes others. He screams like a banshee.
These are not always done out of anger they are quite often when he is really excited.

I agree with Marne and *borderslass8 the school/college should have support in place to deal with meltdowns and to deal with you daughters fear and inability to remove herself from a situation. That said if she is happy where she is then fight to keep her there.

busybeingmum am doing a list at the moment(it is very long)

thanks every one.
I want to use dd's safety as one of my issues.
ds goes to college and one of the young people "escaped" and ran up and down during an exam(can't go into much detail as identifies both colleges) just needed some background, just in case.

agree with busybeingmum - you could also draw in references to what is in DD' statement as well when drawing your list - so that your comments are backed up by what the professionals have recommended.

DS2 does a very high pitch shrill scream when he gets upset or has a meltdown. Sometimes I'm sure only dogs can hear him.

Also, he can do "scary" behaviour when excited or happy. He will go up to random people and sniff their head by putting his own on theirs, but quite forcefully. I'm sure your daughter would find that quite scary, especially if she didn't know him.

2Shoes, ds2 (cp & Autism) has just started to show physical agression.
As he's not an able runner he seems to have developed quite a throw when angry or frustrated. He will throw the nearest object, whatever it may be.

your dd is not going to develop any feeling of independance if she needs a physical shadow to keep her safe.

To put her in to a very physical environment may be putting her at additional risk. My ds has not hit me with anything more than the odd bit of Spaghetti - but I can duck a flying object!

Ds has never shown any violent tendencies at all, even in a meltdown. However, one of the children on his bus pinches people when he is upset (bus takes different route or something). That might not sound like much but I've seen the escort's arms after sitting next to him and they were big, black, painful-looking bruises.
The escort can move away but still he is so quick he can do this quite often, so I imagine someone with limited movement could get quite badly injured and frightened . Is that the sort of thing you mean?

anonandlikeit your line really ums it up thanks, she won't be able to be independant(or move towards it)
when I had a look round, most of the young people were what I call"walking/talking" I felt that to send dd there would actually exclude her.

I know what you mean about speed, my friends dd(no dx) is like that, when she hits you you don't see it comming.

Pixel there is one girl(yes only one) at dd's school who has slight issues......she pulled dd's hair in nursery, dd is still scared of her!!

the noise of DS2's meltdown is dreadful, the lashing out, the running away and basic unpredictability of what might happen x

I'll email you about some questions regarding safety you can throw their way, 2 shoes...

You may have an issue because having ASD does not necessarily mean having Challenging Behaviour. However, likely behaviours are jumping up and down, rolling around on the floor, hitting, spitting, screeching etc. Even when not upset or angry, individuals with ASD can be rather alarming to others just with their repetitive, sensory type behaviours, e.g. funny loud noises, my DS bunny hops a lot, incessant hand flapping/flicking, "playing" with any available water or other liquids! It is not really appropriate to mix those with ASD and people with other disabilities that are so very different. People with ASD are usually VERY physical and therefore have very different needs to those who have physical disabilities. It is fairly common for people with ASD to be educated separately because their needs and style of learning are different. HTH.

meltdown, depends if its triggered internally ie depression i hate myself type stuff or externally via insults and the like

if its an internal triggle my experiance is the me
lt down will center on the victim only and any actions will be self related ie headbanging punching self and that sort of thing

if its extertenal... welll

from personal experiance i who has aspergers have

shreded a living room, tryied to run someoen through atepted to kick a teacher, threw books and generally became a hazard to anyone nearby, not all at once mind oyu those were several incedents

screaming and cursing as well

this is from my own childhood remember...

Why not home in on challenging behaviour per say ( cant spell) rather than what ever diagnosis. There are people with all disabilities who exhibit both challenging and inappropriate behaviours that might be distressing to your daughter. Some with autism have exteme behaviour not all, some with Downs do, As do some people with other disabilities.& So do some with no known disability come to that. So go for the at this college there are many students with challenging behaviour rather than with Autism or whatever. But thats probibly your plan anyway

thanks yous o much for all your replies, they have been very helpful, and have hepled me to see the bigger picture,hopefully this will enable to be able to explain my self better at the next meeting.

Davros, they do seperate the students, but as ds found out they can't keep them seperate all the time.