Would you seek an AS DX for an older child who is V. ADAMANT! that there is nothing wrong?

[wigglybeezer]

DS1 (11)has been very hard work over the school holidays (only a week to go here). My suspicion that he has AS (like his younger brother) is growing as the gap between DS1's interpretation of others' actions and intentions and their reality widens.

It is the very graphic threats of violent intent towards DS2 (not carried out so far but a few thumps) that have finally made me think about seeking help for DS1 too (primed the ED-Pysch before the hols).

The sticking point is that I know that DS1 will be very very angry at any suggestion that his problems are in anyway connected to AS and any health care professional will have their work cut out big-time convincing him to co-operate.

I am scared of what it may unleash

what would you hope to acheive from diagnois - do you think it could be posible to get help without a 'label' - what did the Ed Psych say?

just re read my post and dont mean it to sound as negatiave as it might - just trying to help you to weigh up pros and cons of proceeding with dx....

A dx may mean access to support which he may need in the future. Has he already moved to High school?

Sorry had to type up some minutes.
It may be possible to get help without a DX in the future, they are changing the protocol about this apparently, but that might be to late for DS1. I am just scared that DS1 will regard the DX process as implied criticism of him, it is very likely that he will feel victimised. this is not a fault of the proffessionals just a result of his very negative reactions to things at the moment, ie. I am scared of DS1 hating me for a long time, I am not sure if I feel strong enough ATM.
I would have to be sure that any counseling or training for him would be top notch to make it worth hitting rock bottom before we started climbing up IYKWIM. I have certainly not been told that anything wonderful is on offer for relatively mildly affected children like DS1.

I suppose I want to hear that other people's older DC's have reacted badly to a DX but then come round to the idea and found it has made them happier and more amenable to help.

He has one more year of primary to go (P7).

I suppose what complicates it (or one thing) is that he associates ASD with his little brother...?

Sorry, I keep adding to this thread and then going off to do something.
Lingle, yes= it is a problem, DS2 is more obviously a bit weird sometimes as he has some repetitive movements and does things like talk about Warhammer all the time and wear his hood up all year round... but he is a happy wee spud whereas DS1 is more often than not anxious and miserable ATM even though he appears normal (if very shy) apart from when he has a meltdown.

I am screwing up my courage to try to get him help if I can. I think it could be the very beginning of puberty that is contributing!