Its all going to kick off tonight - any suggestions (change in routine aspergers)

[mummytopebs]

I am going to a friends wedding tonight and will pick dd up from nursery as usual and then make her tea,play etc. But then i am going to a wedding and therefore daddy will be bathing and putting her to bed. Any suggestions on what i can say to her when i am about to walk out the door, cos it usually results in her getting very upset and therefore me being upset.

I know this doesnt sound like a big think but it is massive to her

Have you tried social stories with her? Especially if her language is quite good, you can try breaking what is going to happen up into small 'events', and prepare a little story (with visuals) for her. Perhaps you can get something back from the wedding for her (piece of cake? flowers?)

Never heard of social stories we are pretty new to all this x I have been to the ceremony this morning and they gave me some bubbles so i might give her them when i pick her up from nursery and tell her i will bring her something back tonight.

I hate feeling guilty about going out

If you google social stories you can get info (not in time for tonight though). In general they can be useful - if you have a SALT ask them.
Don't feel guilty about going out!! If you're happy and relaxed because you've gone out, your dd will benefit too

We don't function without visual timetables, social stories and numerous warnings so I already feel anxious for you.
At our house the wedding would have been put on the calendar. At the beginning of the week I would have drawn their attention to the wedding this would coincide with a social story to prepare them what was going to happen.
Each day I would point out on the calendar the wedding and read the story. On the day of the wedding there would be warnings in the morning and then the story and the timetable would have been amended. Repeat again after nursery and a reward talked about for being good.
Carol Gray is the person to google about social stories for the future. Enjoy the wedding and good luck

can you say "I'm just going out to get more bubbles"? - assuming bubbles are a hit.

Oh, it is prob too late now

For us it generally involves a LOT of in depth repeating of exactly what will happen. Pref with DD drawing pics to show each thing.

I hope it went ok

When i leave dd1 (5.3 AS), i don't tell her i'm going out until the day i'm going (mainly because if i tell her too early she will think of a way of stopping me going or she will spend all day telling me how she doesn't want me to go, crying etc..). So i tell her 'mummy's going out', she says 'i don't want you to go mummy', she helps me get ready, i paint her toe nails for her and let her wear my lipstick (she thinks this is great) then i tell her 'if you are good for daddy/baby sitter and go to straight to sleep you will get a present under your pillow in the morning' which seems to work a treat, she wakes up in the morning, gets a little something under her pillow and forgets that mummy left her for a while.

Hope it went well. Another vote for giving lots of warnings, it gives them time to adjust to the change in routine.