Taking photos and videos of asd behaviours at home , good or bad idea?

[mysonben]

I'm already keeping a notepad where i can write down the new routines or typical asd beheviours i notice with ds (3.8) to be ready for our next paed. meeting in the autumn.

Some days (like yesterday) was a bad day, ds did nothing constructive at all , he watched his chuggington dvd for a couple of hours twirling a stick in his hands and doing noise stims then when i said no more he had a tantrum, he refused to go in the garden to play , he just sat there on the sofa most of the afternoon pushing a couple of toys cars along and arranging all the cushions on top of him or in a line on the edge of sofa, then he sat in front of the shoe rack and started pilling up all the shoes into a tower while jargoning to himself.
Then when dh had finished putting the new lino in the toilet , ds had a meltdown because of the new floor, he was screaming and thrashing about when dh picked him up to put him on the loo as he wanted a wee but was refusing to enter the bathroom.
The new floor has a slight grainy texture and it seems to also bother him.

So i videoed him having a tantrum over the new floor and his refusal to enter the bathroom, dh was angry and didn't agree i should be doing it, i said 'it was evidence'.
I felt bad afterwards and deleted the video.

But i get so fed up with people like relatives or neighbours telling me ds is "normal" and half believing what i say that i thought the video would be a good way of showing them that they do not live with us and therefore do not always see what ds can be like regarding asd behaviours.
At the same time the pictures i take now and then of ds watching the tv from the side while cupping his eye, or lining up toys... are for showing the paed, the EP,...

Do you think i am been over the top with the videos idea?
Thanks.

I can understand doing this for a particular purpose such as for evidence at a tribunal but I would think that gathering evidence to prove a point to neighbours and or family (as you suggest) is not helpful.

Ultimately, you know what is going on and this sort of behaviour will out itself if somethimg significant is happening which needs addressing.

I know it is hard but it doesn't matter what family or friends think. As you say, they don't live with you. What matters is getting help if your son needs it.

I think people don't really get what it's like until they see behaviour like that. I mean, you can say 'ds doesn't like the new floor, he wouldn't go in there' and they will just think he's being silly. It's not until you witness a situation that it really sinks in that the grainyness of the floor is upsetting and it's not just a matter of telling them to pull themselves together. IMO I don't think you've been over the top, I'd be selective about who I showed the video too as some people just won't get it anyway. I think it's probably a good thing to do even if you don't show anyone as I tend to forget of examples when asked but if I recorded it I'd be more likely to remember. I guess if your DH really doesn't like it though you should take that on board but I wouldn't feel bad about having done it.

I started doing this and DH got the right hump. But yes I would def video anything that helps to persuade/show the paed his difficult or hard to believe behaviours.

definitely a good idea if what you want is an ASD dx.

but if DH doesn't seek an ASD dx then you've got a problem. I don't seek an ASD dx and wouldn't video bad behaviour.

I don't think you've done anything wrong! At the end of the day, you're the one who is so sick and tired of trying to get your friends and family to admit that there are definite ASD traits in DS, so why shouldn't you video his behaviours as 'evidence'?!
Try to explain this to DH, but even if he still doesn't agree, don't feel bad about having done it.

I think it is a good idea, certainly in terms of useful backup for your conversations with the paed, although I do agree there are pro's and cons to producing a kind of 'see what I mean?' video sequence for friends/family. Apart from anything else the chances are that even if you showed them the video footage they would probably say 'but he's just tired/having a bad day/having a tantrum' etc etc etc and you would be no further forward anyway.

Is there any particular reason why you want to seek opinions from friends and family? Because if not, I'd actually be tempted to just let the whole thing lie as far as they are concerned and simply pursue your interventions/DX as you plan to do. At the end of the day you and DH are his parents, if you have concerns then you should do what you feel you need to do, never mind what others think.

Thank you ladies , a few different opinions always help to put things into perspective.

If i do any videos again it will only be shown to the professionals who might ask/need to see certain home behaviours.
I deleted the meltdown in the bathroom because it felt wrong , when i watched it play it was upseting to see ds crying and screaming "floor dirty"...
and totaly losing it when dh grabbed him to put him on the loo.

I don't need to justify my gut feeling about ds 'asd to friends or family, if they want to carry on to be obtuse then let them be!
It's just that sometimes they get on my nerves so bad with their denial, and i would like more support from them.
Beside dh is not happy about the idea of videos.
He said notes and a few pics is ok but no videos. Maybe i will listen to him for a change!!!

I should add when ds went back upstairs to use the bathroom at bedtime ,he was still wary and a bit hesitant to walk in there but no tantrum or meltdown, only a bit of whining with him saying "dirty".
This morning he actually ran in there and was looking down at his feet and lifting them up to check the grains he could feel underfoot were not stuck to his feet, i think he has understood the grainyness he can feel is just part of the floor.

Ds isn't a big fan of sand btw!