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SN children

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Original poster

most horrible 10 minutes of my life!

20 replies

drlove8 · 10/07/2009 18:14

DD4 went missing, was in town centre and in shop paying for a new top for a wedding i have to go to, ds2 and 4 were with me , and dd4 was in her buggy. except by the time i got outside the shop( debenhams) DD4 had gone, id been distracted by ds4 who had fell .in that few seconds dd4 had managed to escape her reins and buggy harness and disapeared! Ive never been so frightened in my whole life....... shop staff were very quick to help and radioed the police to come very quickly and start searching for her....luckly the shop was on a pedestrian precinct, so no cars , but DD4 was found across the street in Marks and Spencers , in the childrens clothes department.....i cant believe we were so lucky to have found her..... especially as she cant talk to tell anyone who she is! ..... now i have several questions, where can i get a dd4 proof harness? , would flowers be ok to send to the shop for the staff who found dd and clicked she was needing help , and was she trying to tell me that primark just doesnt cut it for the kids clothes?

OP posts:

Frasersmum123 · 10/07/2009 18:19

Oh gosh, that sounds truly scary, glad everything ended okay

Original poster

drlove8 · 10/07/2009 18:23

i was terrified, i didnt know where she was. when we got her back she was grining like a chesshire cat!... oblivious to the drama, but she,s been stimming (going in circles) since we got home..

OP posts:

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 10/07/2009 18:28

Oh Drlove hope you are OK

we had that at folly arm at Whitsun, half an hour he was gone- staff USELESS, not really interested- found him stimming behiond a fruit machine but I genuinely thought he had been tkaen and kept thinking the last moment I saw him was when he waved at me as I let him climb a play park

Original poster

drlove8 · 10/07/2009 18:40

thanks will be on too CRELLING in a mo

OP posts:

troutpout · 10/07/2009 18:42

oh horrible horrible horrible

nice glass of wine tonight perhaps?

Original poster

drlove8 · 10/07/2009 19:15

not tonight im afraid ,(pity) have to go to glasgow to drop ds2 off at ex-h for the "holidays" - aka a week.

OP posts:

reducedfatkettlechip · 10/07/2009 21:29

Oh Good God, what a nightmare. So glad it was over quickly for you, bet it didn't feel it.

ds1 managed to run away from me on holiday, while I was carting ds2, push chair and bags down the steep steps to the pool (with impeccable timing DH had nipped to the loo!!) he skipped on ahead. He then proceeded to go up the steps to the water slide and down by himself before I had any chance to stop him. Had to abandon push chair and bags, thrust ds2 at a stranger and dive in with some clothes still on and fish him out of the splash pool as he had no arm bands on and can't swim properly yet. Horrific and happened so very quickly. Still makes me shake thinking of what could have happened.

cjones2979 · 10/07/2009 22:24

Glad everything turned out ok !!

DS1 (ASD) disappeared in Eastbourne last summer. We went for a day out with SIL & BIL and their kids.

We were in a beach front cafe, and my DH, SIL, BIL & kids went outside to the cafe terrace to sit down whilst I paid for the drinks. When I got outside, they were all sitting round a table minus DS1. When I asked them where he was they said they thought he was with me, but I thought he was with them. We were frantic with worry, calling his name etc. There were some steps beside the cafe which led up to the road, so SIL & I went up there to look panicking that he'd gone onto the road, and DH went into the cafe to check the toilets etc.

People were sitting outside the cafe & could see that we were panicking, but no one offered to help us look for him. Finally I spotted him standing (beside 2 ladies who were sitting at a table at the front of the cafe terrace) watching the boats out at sea totally oblivious to the fact we were looking for him !!

The two women had seen us rushing around calling his name & would have clearly seen him from where they were sitting, but didn't say anything......Some people !!!

Still makes my stomach flip to think about it.

Seuss · 10/07/2009 22:31

Poor you - have you stopped shaking yet?

We nearly lost all ours at Longleat once. We thought the castle type playground was all closed in so DH let ds1 run off and I took ds2 and dd in the maze. Ds2 got ahead of me in the maze and I had a heart thumping 5 minutes trying to find him with dd under my arm, finally got us all out and calmed with a lollipop to get a frantic phone-call from DH saying there was more than one exit off the slide and he couldn't see ds1. We did the whole frantic rushing (no-one helping!) thing and found him paddling quite happily in the fountain.

Original poster

drlove8 · 10/07/2009 23:29

It does seem common for asd kids to wander off, with reading all your stories.... but that doesnt make it any less scary.My main thought is i / we have been very, very lucky, and i cant thank the staff in debenhams & marks enough, and the police were very quick to help and find her.It could have so easily become a disaster.... i feel like the worst mother in the world.DD4 is none the wiser for her wee "adventure" im afraid, she was trying to escape her car seat ,mid m8 tonight. Seuss is Longleat the place with lions ect?, sort of safari park?...

OP posts:

PipinJo · 10/07/2009 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 11/07/2009 09:47

why is it that nobody offers to help? I was sobbing when ds3 went,people didnt even ask if I was OK

The receptionist apaprently radio'd the loss to their security yet I couldnt find DH for ten minutes after fiding ds3 and security were walking past me shufflinga round with ds3 stimming and didn't react!.

magso · 11/07/2009 10:11

I hope you are Ok this morning!
I was shaky for days after the last time we lost ( and found) ds - and he was 8 (ld/asd)! Its the stuff of nightmares! It was in the british museum and the staff were great and had him rounded up in no time. I was in tears ( ds is nearly as tall as me). I always give him a card (in his pocket) now with my mobile no on in busy places - but he is mature enough at last to notice our absence- well possibly! This worked well at legoland when I lost him in a crush in a sudden storm and he bolted for the shop!
I often watch children who appear to be alone - just to check!

Original poster

drlove8 · 11/07/2009 19:16

peachy ... thats just awful
magso ...thanks for asking, we are ok. didnt venture out today without DH . was thinking back up! .DD4 has been making mad dashes for freedom , but DH is faster than her and catches her before she disapears!
I am a bit about the whole thing. What i just cant get my head around is that she (nearly 4)is in a buggy as she refuses to walk anywhere..... so how is it she ran off in a nanosecond ?!

OP posts:

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 11/07/2009 19:18

Did you look at the waist belts?

Not sure where mine is but DS3 can undo it now (he's a bit of a whizz at that) so if I can find would be happy to pass it on, if you could make use?

Original poster

drlove8 · 11/07/2009 19:36

i did look at them, and am thinking they look a bit big for dd4, shes tiny, 98 cm tall and about 23 kgs, but the cross straps look like they might make the baby reigns i have for her impossable for her to escape from..they are fab though

OP posts:

Marne · 11/07/2009 20:26

Oh no, what a bad day you had .

Dd2 (asd non -verbal) always wears a badge when we go out,it has my mobile number on the back and on the front it say's " i have Autism and can't speek, please look on the back for detail" (or something like that) and if we go somewhere busy i write my mobile number on the dd's arms.

Lauree · 11/07/2009 21:58

Thank goodness you found her. the thought gives me the shivers... DEAR Son has a habit of running off and hiding. he thinks it's hillarious. needless to say I don't. I console myself with the though that after 2 minutes any child abductor would want to give him back.

more seriously, last year I took him to a festival and the little devil did a runner. my DP was crazy at me for loosing him, and we both looked for about half an hour, only to find him 'rehearsing' back stage with a rather bemused boy-band. Luckily D(x)P was on the crew otherwise we'd never have been able to get backstage.

Now I've got a nifty sporty wristband from 'identifyyourself.com' he can't get it off, and I've had it engraved with my mobile number and his medical condition.

magso · 12/07/2009 10:35

I think there are devices you can buy ( wrist worn or clothes clip) which buzzes if the child gets beyond a certain distance from the parent worn receiver. I looked into when we lost ds last but cannot remember the names. There is a very basic one ( sold at pharmacist with limited range 50m IIRC wrist worn) and then more sophistocated longer range ones marketed for the elderly (alziemers) and then full scale very expensive tracker devices. In the end I did not get one - by the time I had searched around to decide on the best device ds had made a leap in understanding!
It is curious how much energy dcs ( who refuse to walk just to get fro a to b) have when something intersts them!

lagaanisace · 12/07/2009 12:09

Can really empathise. I lost DS1 (NT) at a carnival in Ilkley once when I was hugely pregnant. I was running about shouting his name, baby belly wobbling, and people just looked at me - even a Rotary guy who was officiating somehow. Just one family helped and looked for him.

'worst 10 minutes of my life' sums it up!

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