comments about your dc. whats the best retort you've used(or wish you had)

[knickerstootight]

hiya, ds has just been dx ASD but weve suspected for a while, so no big suprise really. Already had the tutting and horrified stares off other people due to his behaviour, so just wanted to get prepared for the comments.
so,what comments have you had about your dc and what was your reply?

'what is he laughting for??? he laughs like a retarded!
he is laughting at your stupid mug of course.

' What a shame...he is such a gorgeous boy'

'yep! Gorgeous IS one of the symptoms of asd!'

Haven't said it yet but waiting for someone to comment on rude/obnoxious behavior so I can retort:

"DS1 has ASD and has trouble with the social niceties so can come accross as rude. What's your excuse!!"

Go on, say it someone!!

BR

I rely on ds1 to provide the comebacks, for example.

From a moronic French child psychiatrist: "You're unhappy and lonely aren't you, little one?"

DS1 (five year old with HFA): "I'm a happy boy and I love my Mummy".

Later (same meeting):
MFCP: "What's this drawing then?" (a few weird squiggles and kooky faces)
DS1: "Captain Silver and the Crynosaures".

I have never been so proud of him! Still don't know what a crynosaure is, but who cares?

good one bunnyrabbit he he he will give that one a go at the next occasion!

Have often used " he/she has autism what's your excuse?"
When being told to watch tiny tearaways for tips suggested that "she might like to watch a programme on voluntary euthanasia and take tips herself"
When somebody suggested that if I had found out my daughter had autism whilst pregnant I could understandably have had an abortion because I "don't want another one like my son" replied that autism would be fine but god forbid she have ginger hair and freckles like herself because I would definitely have considered it then.
The funniest one was when dd's echolalia kicked in just after I had told this interfering old couple off after ensuring that what might have been a loud grumble turned into a screaming meltdown and she screamed repeatedly mid meltdown "BLOODY IDIOTS LIKE YOU" whilst said couple tried to get out of the precinct at lightning speed.
Told lots of people who advised a smack that when they put it on prescription as a cure for autism then I'd wallop them daily but not before then.
There have been loads over the years tbh, I find that I always have a reply and am never afraid to use it lol

no hes not doing it for attention. ds2 crying is like someone screaming in his ear would you like me to show you.
yes I know he is really clever, he doesnt really have ASD he has read a book on it and is trying to fool us all.

LOL some brilliant answers!
riven PMSL
mysonben thats 2 of my ds symptoms aswell
BR love it
fatslag your son sounds fabulous
asdx2 shall defo be using the one about smacking.
thanks for the responses,i shall be armed with some great comebacks. Bring it on!

When I told my mum about dd's AS she said "They are really clever, you know. Good at numbers and things. Like on 'Rainman'"
After I had stopped shaking my head, I said "Well, I best get her down the casino then. I knew there would be perks to having a child with autism."

Not sure what she made of that!

sibling that's so funny you said that 'cos that's what the people at DH's work said.

Dh also keeps threatening to take DS1 to a casino. Personally, I think he'd love it!!

It is astounding how many people think that all Autistic children have some amazing talent.

DS1 does of course : the ability to make people do what he wants when he wants without even realising it .

Bunnyrabbit, I think many people now use Dustin Hoffman as a 'guide' for how autistic people behave.

My dd's special talent is to bore talk to me for increasingly lengthy periods of time, on one specific subject The things I don't know about the ELC catalogue aren't worth knowing!

Not as funny, or as satisfying, as the ones already mentioned, but a teacher I know who works with autistic children always says very calmly to starers and tutters

' This is X. He/she has autism and you are NOT helping.'

She says it works every time .

Oooh I like that. And I can almost hear the tone of voice in my head!!

She is fab. And it's so non-confrontational that people can't possibly go off on one