DD QUERY ASPERGERS - COULD SHE BE DEPRESSED TOO

[beverleyjayne]

hi there, have posted on here before, but mainly lurk and read all the good advice. title says it all really, my dd is 10 and is going through the assessment at the minute,it seems as though it is taking forever. she is an extremely anxious and stressed girl and getting worse. she hates going to school as she doesnt seem to be able to cope with the social side of it at all, says her friends are not the same anymore! i just wondered if anyone else had any thoughts on this, as she just seems to be getting more withdrawn and not wanting to see anyone, just sits in her room on her pc or reading the twilight books!!

thanks for reading

bev

Hi bev,
My dd is 8 and has AS. She is also prone to becoming withdrawn and/or depressed and I have noticed that it is worse when she is feeling stressed or under pressure. I can imagine how worried you must be.

She couldn't cope with the social side of school either and used to come home and go straight to her room. It may be that your dd needs to find space to cope after the strain of school, hence the reading/pc.

It's really hard to know how to advise you, because all children with AS have different traits and behaviours. It might be an idea to have a word with her headteacher and see if there are any strategies they can put in place eg arranging for your dd to have some time alone at playtime/lunchtime or sending her on errands to give her a bit of space.

When my dd started talking about wanting to be dead, I had to become a real PITA and basically hounded the CDC until they speeded up her appointments. I understand that this may not be possible in all areas, but it can't hurt to ask.

Good luck. If it helps, things are a lot better post dx and there is definitely help out there. x

hi sb, thanks for replying. i have been up to her school countless times, think i have become PITA too, her own teacher sees the change in her too, says how her posture has changed now and how her shoulders are always hunched up now. she talked about doing out a education plan for her to focus on social skills, but when i rang the headmaster to discuss it, he said no way, not until they had something official from the CDC ie a dx. he also wants something official on her current state and how they should cope with her in the classroom!!! i think i could choke the man!! she is going for the ados test on the 7 july and the multi disciplinary is on the 13 october and sometime in between the py ed will grace us with her presence!!
does your dd have any friends and does she like spending time with them. does she cry and worry about school or is she fine going? my dd cries every morning and has done so since january

bev

sb

sorry me again lol! when she started saying she wanted to be dead, how did they help her and is she still getting help now

thanks
bev

Sadly my experience is that AS kids* do often get depression as well; pretty sure ds1 does (manifests as eating disorders with him) and am certain it fuels his negative behaviours.

to you and your dd, but she's lucky to hae such a caring observant Mum

*Not all AS kids and not only AS kids either

before I get shouted at again
LOL

Hi Bev
My dd is now home educated. The school just failed her time and again until they finally admitted that they couldn't provide the support she needed. At that point, we took her out. She had one or two close friends, but spent her playtime and lunchtime trying to escape them and to be alone. She just couldn't handle constant social interaction. She was very isolated.

At the point before we took her out, she cried every morning and had meltdowns every night.

I'm not saying that you should home ed your dd, but just though I would explain how it worked for us.It took us a year to make the leap!

When I rang CAMHS and told them that she was talking about dying, they gave her an appointment straight away and chased up her assessments.

I really feel for you and your dd, because it is so hard to see your child so unhappy. I reallly hope things improve soon.

Shout up if I can help

Hi Bev
my ds1 has aspergers and we have had many years of depression, doctors tried to put him on anti depressants at the age of 11 because he was hurting himself quite badly.
At the time I was worried sick, so my thoughts are with you.

He always struggled with friends, still does really. There has never been any special friends, I dont think people understand him or have time for him.

We have always tried to tell him how proud we are of him and shown him how much he is loved, but we have always stood by the expression "If people don't like you for who you are then they are not worth bothering about".
It helps sometimes but he still becomes upset when friends dont get in touch. He also takes things to heart far to easily.

Take Care. Hugs to you.