My DS has been referred to a paediatrican for assessment

[waitingforgodot]

He has just turned 3 and today we took him to have his hearing tested as his speech is quite slow. The dr said hearing and speech fine but his interaction skills were slow and he wasn't taking turns or trying to interact with her. He was launching toys across the room. i just wondered what the paediatrician will be testing for? Can anyone give me any words of advice as I think I am in a bit of shock.

Has he been referred to a Developmental Paediatrician? This is a usual first step for kids that seem to be delayed in any way.

First of all, do YOU have any concerns? You know your ds the best. Did you ask the doctor what they would be looking for? It may not seem like it at the moment but if there are any issues this is a good thing for you and your ds. So many parents really struggle to even get referred with problems their dc are facing and really have to fight for it.

My ds has High Functioning Autism so I have been though all this. Although I am not saying that this is why your ds has been referred. There are loads of people on here who have been down this road so can help you.

thanks Sunfleurs. I think its a Developmental Paediatrician he has been referred to. She thinks his social skills are not how they should be. My concerns were that his speech seemed delayed but his needs were being met. I had to push for a hearing test so you are right. I think its a good thing he is being referred. Not sure what to expect at the assessment though. I feel quite nervous about it.

hi waitingforgodot.

it is absolutely shocking, isn't it? But I agree with everything sunfleurs said. YOU know your child best and don't be afraid to quiz them directly on what they think they are looking for. By having some sort of bearing on where it might be going will absolutely help you with forthcoming testing.

That being said boys are notoriously behind in their speech and not co-operating in synthetic testing condtions is pretty normal behaviour! The best way to try and feel about it(tho easier said than done) is positive that people are paying attention and putting him forward to get the help he needs to get him moving along. 3 is very young and much progress can be made very quickly.

like sunfleurs, i have been through the process as my ds1 (2.5) was diagosed with autism only very recently - but going into it we were aware that he was not up to scratch on quite a few fronts. The developmental paed basically asked questions for 2 hours then spent 10 mins trying to engage him in a few activities. somewhere on here in the last week or to someone put a link to the types of questions that were asked. i will try to find.

(ps. NOT saying your lovely ds is going down mines path at all - just remember how nerve-racking it all was and would have liked to have had a look at some of the general questions in advance!!)

mum2fred
thanks so much for your post. You mention you knew your child was not up to scratch on a few fronts. What kind of things did you notice? If you can find a link to those questions that would be great. Thank you!

trying to find post! argh! MAybe someone else has seen it.... i KNEW i should have added it to my watched posts!

Well - where to start!! A lot of tantrums whch i think most kids do - but what was particularly concerning - ds1 has severe langage delay. at 2.5 has a couple of hundred 'words' (tho none sound as they should) none of which are invested in emotion. He also does not play creatively (bit of wheel spinning and water play). Does not really interact with people he does not know. Doesn't point or 'show' me toys or check to see if im watching him. But this is just my ds1. asd is allllll over the shop in a thousand different shapes and sizes. THAT being said, people concentrate on the 'secondary characteristics' too much (lining up stuff, sensory ssues) which whilst linked ot asd, are not exclusive to it. I posted a minute or to ago some rambling thing on the core '3' characterstics. maybe look at that?

But dont get too ahead of yourself, its too numbing and scary nad too much info. Your kid is doing pretty well if at 3 the suggestion of developmental delay is 'out of the blue'. Its upsetting, but he is obviously functioning very well as he is, and no doubt has a very bright future ahead of him. It will all be fine. It is great that the system has picked him up and you will get the help you need.

(ps apologies for bad typing - ds1 ripped up my laptop keys )

thanks mum2fred.
We haven't had tantrums-he's quite an easy going boy. I know they are all different and all develop in their own time. I am glad he is now in the system as we no longer have the health visitors doing the milestone checks. I am really naive about special needs which is perhaps why my husband and I havent noticed any indicators so far except the speech delay. Also, ds goes to nursery and the staff have not mentioned anything. Do they usually flag something up if they have any concerns? Apologies for rambling and thanks for all your help

got it!

there is a link on this discussion to a sample of questions that are not dissimilar to what i was asked.

ramble away. i can still feel the sting from the slap they gave me when they confirmed that he was not developing as others might.

we were also incredibly naive about 'milestones'. still are really. its a bit of a steep learning curve. but n the few weeks post-dx both me nad DH have found mumsnet one of hte best places to ask questions (even the obvious ones), vent, learn and get support.

i think it is a pretty good sign if yourselves and the nursery workers have not noticed any issues. becuase when it comes down to it, what you have is an amazing and loving little boy who just needs a little bit of extra help to move him along. and im sure you wouldn't change anything about him if you even could.

My ds is now 3y6m, did not start talking till 2y9m, still a bit behind on the language, but coming on leaps and bounds since new year and surprises me with new things all the time. He had a developmental test, similar to mum2fred at 2y7m, and found to be behind more so on both socially and communication and a few others i forget, but ahead visually. He is v. loving, laidback, thoughtful, good at sharing, funny (like to make us laugh), loves company, loves playing dotty dinosaurs (a dice throwing games), dinosaurs, cars, and imaginary play is not bad (e.g. being doctor or patient, racing driver). Yes, he has only recently started lining things up and licking everything, and recently has real problems with sound (hearing sensitivity), and he is high functioning autism, still no firm dx, but will do, they say it, but will not put it into writing. My ds tells me, his the best boy in the world, which i would agree. It's a long process, but i have found so much info on this forum to help and support. If there is anything there, to be found now gives both you and him the best start.

thanks mum2fred. thats great. will go and have a look

thanks jasdox. DH just dropped him off at nursery and they want to talk to us about getting someone in to help with his speech-I assume they mean help at the nursery. I just feel really sad

i think that is what they mean. thats great news, the more help from people you get, the quicker things ill get on track,.

it's hard learning that ds is not delveloping on the average. it gives you so many concerns about what that might mean and what the future holds. But speech delay is extremely common and treatable. You'd be suprised ho many people come out of hte woodwork ith stories of speech delay Just try to focus on that at the moment.

our speech delay for ds1 (2.5 asd) and his potential for a dx was first flagged up 6 months ago. We are still waiting for speech and language therapy (SALT) on the NHS Have no idea when it will happen, it is very frustrating. I have felt like we are treading water becuase i think that once his language develops it will really help his frustration levels.

If you want to get proactive on the speech Many people on here recommend 'It Takes Two to Talk' (avail from Waterstones online) from hte HANEN program as an excellent tool for parents to use at home. Ours is on order and cant vouch for it myself, but it is very popular. Or if you wanted to look into private SALT people recommend this website www.helpwithtalking.com

mum2fred
you are a star. I just read the post that Starlight McKenzie started to have everyone introduce themselves.
I have written down "It takes 2 to talk". Will have a look on ebay and see if I can find a cheap copy.
I didn't realise SALT took so long to get the ball rolling.
I just wanted to thank you though coz you have been really brilliant and helping me to keep everything in perspective.

thats a great thread to read. we did the same thing with it - made a huge list of everything everone recommended.

no worries, im happy to help, there are a few mums on here who really helped me when i started going through the process. i wass so shocked nad lost and teary, i cant begin to explain how much hte SN MNetters helped. WIsh we could all have a adrink together one day

Good luck ith it all and I look forward to hearing how you get on. Whatever happens, i firmly believe that at our boys age we can make a real difference in any developmental problems they are having - the best way forward it to be proactive, positive and pushy.

Mum2fred,
i have taken on board what you said and in my own pushy way, have just asked for a referral to SALT rather than wait for the paediatricians assessment. This is where he needs help at the minute so I called the health visitor and was surprisingly calm about it. So need to wait for his first meeting! Thanks for your help and hand holding! What would we do without mumsnet eh? Hope all is well with you!