The day from hell -both kids at home

[Widemouthfrog]

This is just a rant before I explode. It all started Thurs when DS1 - 6 (ASD and epilepsy) sprained his ankle. He cannot/wont walk at all. Then on sat he started screaming with earache and fever and has been poorly with an ear infection. Two seizures followed on Sat night So he is home in alot of pain and needing to be carried to get anywhere. He is coping remarkably well considering.
The big problem is DS2, 3. He has gone crazy. Hitting, me and DS1. He has been sent home from preschool because he wouldn't stop screaming. Throwing toys everywhere. he is wild - I cannot calm him down.
He is due to see paed on Thurs for his first assessment. I am now convinced he is on the spectrum too - his reaction to the change of routine is too extreme. My initial concerns have been for ADHD and the HV agreed he has a limited attention span.
I am exhausted, and with no prospect of getting either kids into school this week I feel completely out of my depth. I have learnt how to cope with DS1 but I just cannot seem to manage DS2 and the impulsive/aggressive behaviour.

I know lots of you on here have more than one SN kid - I guess I am realising the enormity of this. Any advice welcome

widemouthfrog , youre having a rough time of it, poor you .have you thought about getting someone in to help amuse the lo's/help you out for a bit. it needent be expensive, perhaps a neice or "babysitter" can come around to give you a hand?.One of mine has ADHD so i know how hard it can be,i think the trick is to do something with your ds2 that he loves, or buy a huge trampoline and let him bounce all day- even if its raining!(just have a warm bath ready for when he comes in ) . good lusk on thursday! x

Its just me and DH. I go to work in the evening and he works in the day, so we look after the kids in shifts. No one else is brave enough!
Grandparents cannot accept that DS2 has issues too, and my mum's advice this morning was to give DS2 a smack . Preschool saw a new side of him when they couldn't calm him down, and have agreed to call the SENCO in to observe him.
Between the two of them I've got so many appointments to attend my head is in a whirl.

drlove8 -cross posted. LOL at the trampoline - that is why DS1 now has a sprained ankle .

I have one friend who offers to help, and hopefully she will help me out when I have to take DS2 to the hospital on thursday, but she has 2 kids of her own and you can only ask so often!

I haven't yet contacted SS, as officially only DS1 is SN. I think I may when I have feedback from the paed about DS2. Its difficult to know how to help though - both are young and accessing playschemes and respite takes alot of planning. I just don't know what to ask SS for. Another mum I know has direct payments for respite care, but the hassle of employing someone and getting DS1 to accept and trust them almost feels as big a battle as the ones I am already dealing with.
Playlink can provide a 1:1 for DS1 to access a mainstream playscheme but the ones in our area are full and I have no transport. Because DS1 only qualifies for low mobility, I cannot afford a second car. DS has already had to go part-time for the sanity of the family, so money is tight.
I feel completely trapped, but very guilty for saying that because my two boys are both amazing little boys.

Thanks Fio. The chaos continues. Both DSs still home. DS2 has bitten DS1 in the middle of his back and made him bleed . DS1 is still unable/unwilling to walk and is retreating into his autistic world - not good. Thursdays assessment cannot come soon enough, as I am tired, battered and bruised.