DS' nursery wants to video him for observations purposes... +rant!

[mysonben]

Well we 've had a meeting with the nursery manageress and senco , they 've highlited a few points about ds behaviours (asd) at nursery and we did the same about him at home. Very interesting , there is a pattern of behaviours in areas like 'going to the toilet, ds' sceaming fits when things are upsetting him for various reasons, inapropriate laughter, ,...' they want to do more in deph observations and said they'd like to video ds during certain activities. We're ok with it.

Anyone else s' dc were videotaped for observations purposes?

Of course i've had to put up with the usual comments from relatives!
My sis reckons we should'nt have given our permission. And by the way she said "opening and closing doors or cupboards or drawers IS NOT a sign of asd because her ds (my nephew NT and a bright kid) did that for about 1 year starting when he was 18 months! " ...ggrrrr
comments like this make me MAD!! Of course if that was the only odd thing about my ds i'd say the same but my nephew isn't speech delayed, he has good social skills, no meltdowns, no obsessions with noises, his interests and play are varied, when he talks to you it makes sense,...the list goes on. My sis doesn't see my ds often (about once a year as we live far away) yet she comments as if she knows him well and knows all about asd !!! The only thing she does know is how to make annoying comments like this!

Sorry about yet another rant ...i'm very sensitive at the moment when it comes to my ds.

I have been videod talking and playing with DS as part of Hanen courses, so it sounds like a sensible enough request to me. Sorry sis is being unhelpful. Sometimes people just don't get it.

I think it is a good idea-anything to help. When you are in the thick of it you can't really observe; with a recording you have the time to work out triggers for behaviour and can maybe just make a few simple changes.
I don't think your SIL is helpful-it is always better to face a problem than pretend there isn't one.

Agree mysonben, those unhelpful comments can really get your back up. Why do people feel the need to diagnose or undiagnose ASD children? Would they do the same for other disabilities? It seems to be a free for all as far as comments go.

I've had DS videod - same as TC, for the Hanen course. It was very helpful actually.

yes ds was videoed as his behaviour was so different in ore school to home setting

anything to help the behaviour there will help him in the long run

my brother is the same he doesnt accept ds has ASD is always saying he'll catch up we are doing bubbla boy statement and they have given him no SALT obviously he needs it he has atypical speech will not speak without support etc my bro gets really cross and says well he'll talk right if he is with all the other children he'll catch up i smile sweetly now and walk off and have good swear under my breath

i know my bro is in denial as he wants nothing to be wrong with my little boy but it still hurts me to not have the understanding and support

DS was videoed bt his class teacher when he started school, so that inclusion support could see the behaviours that he didn't always demonstrate while they were there observing him. I think it can only be a useful thing.

Video is really helpful. I use video a lot at home to watch back and see what things I can change to help my son. I also use video to show the school the things that ds1 does at home as they can be so different.

Your sister sounds very unhelpful. Unfortunately this is common in the early days amongst family members. You could try telling her that her comments aren't helpful. I finally lost the plot with my aunt when she said something about how when he son behaved the way ds1 had in a shop she had put him over her shoulder and carried him out. Her son was 2, ds1 was 7 at the time (and severely autistic). . They think they're being helpful and encouraging and don't realise how soul destroying it is to always cast you in the role of being negative. When in fact you're just being realistic.

Thank you ladies as always lots of support and advice here.

I think my sis is being unhelpful not because she wants to think that my ds is ok, but because she always know everything better than anyone else , on all subjects even things she has no experience with. No one can ever have a nice pleasant conversation with her as she always knows it all. So i will just not talk to her about my ds anymore.