Does Dd really need some sort of label/diagnoss?

[EccentricaGallumbits]

If I strongly suspected she had Aspergers would going through the diagnosis procedure be beneficial? Or would it just give her a label? Would it hep? or not?

DD is 11 BTW. sometimes delightful. more often not.

Sometimes I think I can't deal with her foibles and oddness any more without actually knowing why, other times I think it wouldn't make any difference and we'd still have to live with them.

what do you think?

i think you should always do what you think best but if its affecting schooling then a dx is useful to be able to give her the extra help needed that can only be given with dx

if you think she'll benefit from it then i would go for it as she then has a valid answer for her problems and will be helped accordingly

I don't have a huge amount of direct experience of this but I have heard several stories of young adults who have been either not diagnosed or had their diagnosis hidden from them. They go through their stressful teenage years feeling different and 'weird' and diagnosis comes as a huge relief.

I do have experience of my niece who I would swear is ASD but who has had a multitude of mental health problems beginning in her teens. I keep praying that she gets a diagnosis of ASD because she feels that she is a misfit and has now been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. This is a bad diagnosis because it's so often regarded as untreatable and timewasting, but it seems that undiagnosed ASD's frequently end up getting misdiagnosed with mental health problems.

I have no direct experience of AS but did find that the Dx of ASD added to my sons' complex list was helpful to me as a parent to understand the cause of behaviours and manage them (well some of the time!). I was a bit adrift before this Dx as his existing list did not explain many of his difficulties.
A Dx is a guide or signpost for those teaching or caring for the child and as Donkeyderby says it helps the child understand themselves too.

I think in my DS2's case (although he was a lot younger when he was diagnosed with Dyspraxia) the diagnosis helped him enormously - he was well aware that he was struggling, and had been blaming himself. Suddenly he was able to say "it's not my fault, it's how I was born", and was a much happier child.

I think life is bloody hard as it is for prepubescent girls, and as she goes into her teenage years it won't necessarily get easier. If she needs support with her social skills and with understanding why she finds some things hard, then the sooner she has the support the better. And if that involves a diagnosis, then that's not going to do any harm and might well do some good.

It helped me hugely to find out I was ASD, if that helps. But I certainly know others who have never sought a DX. In children, it can give access to a lot of useful help and support. Well worth trying?

I don't understand your question. Diagnosing your child with AS or anything else for that matter, is just the beginning, next coming the finding a way to help him/her through therapy. If you susspect there is smth wrong with your child, do try to find out what that might be. Forget about the label and think about understanding the problems and trying to find solutions. Think about it as an every day sickness and not as a stigma Your child coughs, you try to find the right siroup or pills.

This is something I have been debating for a while re my DS. There is something 'different' about him compared with other children, and from the reading I have done it does seem a little like various conditions/syndromes...but for the moment he is happy and we are happy. He is only little (4.10 yrs) and both DH & I feel the process of getting him assessed would probably cause more problems in itself at the moment so we have chosen to leave it. He does seem to be growing out of some of his oddities as he gets older so maybe he will learn to cope with it on his own? But at the same time the idea of assessment is still there in the back of my mind in case he becomes unhappy or we need some extra help. For the moment though we seem to be doing great just living and letting him learn at his own pace. We home educate so the issue of him coping with the school environment isn't one we need to consider...we just adjust our behaviour and habits to fit in with his needs.

I don't think anyone can give you the right answer to your question.It's your call basically.

Your statement here:

'Sometimes I think I can't deal with her foibles and oddness any more without actually knowing why, other times I think it wouldn't make any difference and we'd still have to live with them.'

That describes perfectly the stage many of us have gone through with our children...and we can only tell you how we have fared.

The diagnosis may help her in many ways which you do not realise though...in terms of giving her an answer to how she feels about herself. I realised with my boy that he too was looking for an answer about himself. He has been a lot happier since he can see things in himself that he has a reason for. My boy is 11 too.

I saw the dx as 'protection' not a 'label'...protection against people giving him the wrong labels ...a signal,a signpost..whatever.
Even me tbh... looking back... i would sometimes give him a hard time when he was little...i was frustrated with myself too. What if there was nothing wrong and it was just really shoddy parenting?
It has gave me freedom too.Plus access to support and services.
Personally i think i would have got here without the dx... (it took a long time in the end and i already knew for sure by the time we got the dx)but i don't think dh could have and i don't think ds could have coped without it.It made me get off my arse more too tbh and start dealing with some of the issues a bit more. 'Up my game' so to speak.
He has funding at school (which started before the dx incidently) but since the dx they haven't questioned maintaining it at all.

Is there something that has brought you too this point all of a sudden ? something that has changed in her behaviour and brought it to a head? Or do you have lots of troughs and peaks . Does she cope ok at school?

Good luck whatever you decide

This is a useful thread for us right now. I'm weighing up the same question re: my 4 year old DS, especially as we start the statementing process.

Mumsnet is great for focusing one's thoughts.

On balance, I think I'm going to raise the question of DX at his next review due this month.