Not sure what is going on with my 4 year old

[hotwheels]

Help. My son is an extremely lively four year old who is rather large for his age, pretty clever yet has some real sperts of very bad behaviour. his Nursery feel there is something very wrong socially and we are both pushing for an explanation.He now has to where soft shoes incase he hurts other children etc etc. I have had Aspergers mentioned to me off the record however when i look at the defining charactersitics i dont feel he fits into a huge amount of them. My husband just thinks he is a naughty boy and that im probably making a huge fuss about nothing but I feel it is something that we must start sorting out now, before he starts school. Its the way he winds himself up so that he is so angrey and then becomes violent that worries me, especially when he is so loving normally. He hits the teachers and lays into the other children for minor reasons and there is no reaching him when he goes it can take hours for him to come out of it, generally the day then breaks down into very bad behaviour.

Who has mentioned AS to you off the record?.
Think you and the nursery are wise to be pushing for an explanation.

It sounds like he is having difficulties coping socially and or reading unwritten verbal cues so could be lashing out as a result. Is there anything specific that triggers this behaviour?.

Some Dads can also go into denial about any possible special needs issues their child may have.

Would suggest you ask your GP to refer your son to a developmental paediatrician at a child development centre for further evaluation.

Sorry bit of a ramble....We have had speech and language assessment at his nursery and that is when the converstaion came about. I am waiting for the formal conclusion of that, however his development generally is above and beyond his years but i have to admit I think somedays there is something really amiss. We have had a paedriatrician initial appointment and she will be writing to nursery to get a better grasp on their assessments and concerns then we go back at xmas time. We are trying to find triggers that start it, yesterday he went for one of his teachers as she asked him to do something he didnt want to, other days he just starts randomly hitting other children for no reason what so ever!!!!!!!!Nursery feel that he plays alongside rather then with, although I feel he finds children his age either boring or a threat so he treats them accordingly to that. he loves older boys and loves to rough and tumble but often has no concept of when he is hurting people.I am so worried about him going to school next September and really cant see it happening.

Hi sounds very much like my DS was at that age. He's now 10 and has aspergers. That said many 4 year old boys without aspergers behave badly too, it doesn't mean your DS does have special needs. AS kids are often very developmentally ahead in lots of things, mine is a maths whizz, very switched on, practically minded (he's just wirelessly networked my house, computers and printers!!!) and sensible - but socially he is like a 3 year old!!
You're worried, so you need to get him assessed. It may be he is just a bit socially behind, but IF he does have AS you are far better finding out sooner rather than later.

Hi, this sounds simalar to dd1 (4.7), she has mild AS, she's ahead with reading and maths but struggles with the social side, she does'nt get violent though, she tends to be over sensitive and crys alot if things arn't going her way.

Dd changed alot the year before she started school (last year), nursery helped her in alot of ways as they were aware of her possible AS. She started school in september and is doing realy well.

Sounds just like my J, who is now 7 - used to randomly hit and bite at nursery and is only just learning to play with rather than alongside others.

He's diagnosed with autism and ADHD, but, as others have said, a lot of kids can look unusual at any age without having SN. Still worth checking out though - I went to our GP and got a referral to a pead consultant who then referred to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service). Sounds like you're well on the way with getting him checked out, so that's good.

Good luck.