How can i stop myself RESENTING by boys? :(

[MUM23ASD]

last night ...i was distracted whilst pouring boiling water, by the boys argueing, and poured water down my front- and though not blistered- i have a scalded abdomen- and feel so torn between emotions.

Mum23ASD

I don't know what the answer is but hope you're okay. xx

(I'm unintentionally following you around the SN board again!)

Hope you are ok today

I hope you are OK? Do cover it with a burns dressing (if you haven't done so) if the skin doesnt stay intact. In fact (IIRC)if a scald is bigger than your own palm you should seek medical attention. Scalds are so painful I dont blame you for feeling rather resentful at what life has landed on your children and hense you! I suppose the thing is to rationalise that asd affects their ability to empathise (ie blame the asd not the dcs). And make sure they know it is painful - so they understand and eventually learn that their actions can affect others! Can they collectively do something nice for you today to help you feel better (and them learn)?
Gosh I only have one child (ASD) and I often have to tell myself he is not selfish/ thoughtless/ agressive he is autistic/learning disabled! I can't imagine 3. I have moments too - i'm sure we all do especially when in acute pain!!
Now lets think up some good turns for your youngsters -

You're human. don't beat yourself up about it. I think sometimes it is so overwhelming that you just want to lean out of a window and scream!

It's easy to say, but you really have to try to change the focus. Get into their world, see it from their pov - they are how they are, they aren't trying to do anything to you. I know that doesn't help when you're fed up and hurt and it's only human to feel "look what you made me do" but take a deep breath and tell yourself that it's not personal in any way.

I hope you are feeling ok and that you haven't scalded yourself too badly.

thanks all!

sore patch is only 3" long- 1" wide... and still intact. I put a wet flannel on it for 2 hours last night!

I blame the 'narrow kitchen' rather than the boys usually!- and am always thankful it is not them getting hurt.

last night i feel was just the last straw on a tough day....and the tears i cried were more for everything thats happened in the past 3 weeks rather than from 1 small burn!!!!

DS1 (who was with me when it happened) showed his 'empathy/sympathy' by thanking me last night that i had made his bed all confy cos in his words he didn't think i'd bother after what had happened (no mention of 'how are you?'...but the thankyou for making the bed is worth a million 'how are yous!'

ds3 lifted up my quilt and nightdress whilst asking if i was better.

so that was lovely too.

i do also blame the tummy....it is not mine...it just appeared over the past few years and i deny all knowledge of it!!! If it wasn't so 'detatched' from me....and had some 'feeling' in it...i would have felt the water sooner...but it has no feeling- is just a blob that gets in the way....it got steam ironed once.... and that was all my fault...kids were at school!!!

You've had a tough few weeks!