For those of you with more than one ASD child.

[ALMummy]

DD has been referred to speech and language therapy as she is not yet talking properly at 22 months. She has about 10 words but does not put any together.

I already have a son who is ASD (although we have yet to have an official diagnosis). The only similarity I see between them is the speech delay. DD points, brings things to show me, shows interest in birds, cats, flowers etc - DS never really did.

Just wondering at what point did you realise it was ASD again with your subsequent children? I spent a lot of time in denial with DS and I don't want to go down that road again. DS's SENCO has asked if dd speaks much and I wonder if she is thinking Uh Oh, here we go again. Just want to be much more on the ball this time if necessary.

It was the difference between ds2 and ds1 that prompted me to get assessment for ds1!! ds2 was born when ds1 was 15 months old. ds2 was much more interactive, friendly...he made me realise that something was amiss with ds1. So I went to HV who referred ds1 to CDC. ds1 got diagnosed at 2 and a half.

It was his home visiting teacher who picked up ds2! We had noticed some things but thought he was copying ds1 - because ds1 also has Erbs Palsy and ds2 copied the way ds1 held his arm. But nope, ds2 was diagnosed at 3.

I have this, I haven't updated for ages though!

oh hecate, your blog has had me absolutely crying with laughter. I particularly love the bit where Horizontal makes you recreate the "Asda bum slap" ad..

I have two on the spectrum - very high-functioning Ds1 with HFA dx and DS3 who is not at all high-functioning and just has plain old autism.

But oddly enough I did not spot DS3's autism early - in fact I thought he was developing normally until the age of 18 months when he started to go into reverse and lose the skills he had.

I think this is not uncommon - Charlotte Moore in her very excellent book about her sons, George and Sam, writes about how she did not suspect for ages that Sam was also autistic, despite George already having been dx'd.

My 3 year old was diagnosed at 2.6 and all the time my now 5 year old's nursery were highlighting issues and I was in complete denial. My 5 year old speaks very well, could read at 2, etc. Finally during his reception year I sat up and took notice after a very good lsa convinced me to push for a referral. I don't know why I didn't realise it, I suppose I couldn't deal with another on the spectrum, feel a bit embarrassed admitting to it. But hey ho, I take it all in my stride now, I focus on the positive things my sons do, and the way my 5 year old is so loving, and generous despite all his difficulties. Also, I understand him alot better, and so does dh.
I have concerns about my 20 month old, he does not have any real words, and am waiting on the 'list'.He is also developing repetitive behaviours, but that could be typical for his age.

My DSs are so different from each other. It kind of threw me off the scent. Also I was in denial too.

I think the point that Charlotte makes in her wonderful book is that you need to compare your child with typically developing peers and not with another ASD child. I read G&S and thought well DS1 cannot possibly be ASD as he is so different from either of them !

Thanks for your replies. Hecate your blog is so funny and I recognise so much in it.

Good tip to compare dd to other children her age instead of to ds. She is very shy, hides her face if a stranger looks at her or talks to her and when she does it I am wondering if it is a sensory issue, the faces are too much for her etc. However ds never did that, he just never really noticed much.

I don't want to talk myself into anything but I don't want to bury my head in the sand either.

I remember looking at DS sometimes when smaller and wondering if he would ever just come to me and tell me something off his own back (before concerns were raised) because he just seemed so wrapped up in his own world. DD comes to me all the time to show me stuff. So I don't know but I am keeping an open mind this time.

The thing with me is my dd was dx with classic Autism aged 2, i have son 18 months older than her, who we are now suspecting to have subtle signs of AS. So its backed to front with us if you know what i mean. Because AS doesnt really show up until school age, where as severe Autism is pretty obvious at a younger age.

I noticed you say your dd brings you things and points. My dd is over 3 now and doesnt bring me things, doesnt point, doesnt nod, or wave or shake her head. And doesnt talk at all. She has no interest in things and has a very low understanding.

But as all individuals with ASD are so different and are affected in different ways it is worth just getting her checked out, but try not to worry yourself. Be happy in the fact that you have some 'joint attention' (showing things, pointing etc) with her. xx

Ds1 was dx'ed with ASD when he was about 3.5yrs old, though we'd realised what the problem was long before then.

With ds2 it was harder to spot. He was far more sociable than his brother and seemed to be much more interested in what was going on around him. I had some suspicions when he could say some words perfectly at around 10mths and then his language just disappeared. I think somewhere on here is a thread I started when ds2 was a young toddler (about 14 or 15mths or thereabouts) and I took him to a play centre. He turned his back on the play area and spent most of the time watching a fan spinning round. He also had a fascination with circles and the colour red. He was given a provisional dx of AS at around 2yrs and it was made official about a year later.

One thing I've noticed is that if you have an older child with ASD the people working with them will always ask about any younger children. Whenever my 2 boys have appointments the Paed and the SALT will always ask about dd (2yrs) and keep an eye on her informally. Dd is very NT so far so if they are asking about younger children it doesn't necessarily mean that they've spotted something that you haven't.

DS1 is severely autistic.

DS2 was late to talk (was not comprehensible at all until almost 3). All his speech sounds came in in the wrong order etc. However, he was very communicative and I knew he didn't have ASD, although I did get him assessed for verbal dyspraxia (was told it might be). Then suddenly within a week he started talking properly.

He's 6 now and not remotely autistic.

DS3 is 3 and a half. Not autistic, but we had some big concerns about him until we switched him to goats milk when he ws 16 months and he changed pretty much overnight. He has 'autistic bowels'! and shares many physiological features with ds1. He can still be awkward, and he has some sensory integration stuff which makes him awkward to transition but he's doing fine with nursery and no-one has any concerns at all (I've always asked!). I think we had a close shave with him though.

DS1 and DS2 are so extremely different, but I asked for a referral for DS2 at almost 21 months when it became clear that the little speech he'd had and lost wasn't coming back and I was getting frustrated by his inability to play with anything that wasn't simply deafening and concerned with his passivity and general slow development of motor skills - he'd only been walking for a few weeks at the time. It was a slow realisation, though.