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How to start talking to my 5yo about an autism and assessment

5 replies

HowToChat · 19/10/2026 15:26

So, we've got an appoinment with the GP coming up to hopefully get a referal to get on the waitlist for an assessment. I just don't know how to talk to my son about all of this? He's bright and happy right now and I cannot think of a good way to explain what's going to happen. I think because he's fairly happy and confident I don't really want to say to him that we're doing this because we're worried that he's struggling. How did others go about talking through this with kids of a similar age?

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · 19/10/2026 16:01

My DS was assessed this year, he’s 7.

I didn’t tell him what the meetings were for, I just said we’re going for a check up. They’ll ask some questions, play some games and chat with you.
i explained the check ups were like his sisters 2 year check which she had just had.

and tbh he was perfectly happy with that. If I had of told him the real reason it would have caused a lot of anxiety.

HowToChat · 20/10/2026 15:31

Ok thank you! the anxiety it might bring worries me. Did you talk to your 7yo immediate after his diagnosis to explain?

Did they talk about autism with him at the GP appointment?

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 20/10/2026 15:34

Is there anything he knows he struggles with?

'You know how sometimes your find X and Y harder than other children? We are going to see a clever person / nice lady/man to see if there is a reason for this and how to help you'

Might be a bit young for this approach I guess.

Sunshineclouds11 · 20/10/2026 15:39

The doctors didn’t talk to him about it.

I waited afew days before I said anything to him. As, even though it wasn’t a shock it does bring up a lot of emotions.

i didn’t sit him down and say your diagnosed with Autsim and adhd.
As I felt that would make him think something is wrong with him, hearing the word diagnosed.

I said you have 2 parts to your brain, one side is Autistic, the other side is ADHD.
explained it is why he does certain things, feels certain ways, finds things hard.
gave him examples of things he had done recently and said that’s your autistic side of your brain.

and tbf to him, he took it really well. He ofc doesn’t understand the extent of it. And it opened up a lot of questions for him, as in who else, how many people etc

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do it, you know your child best and what he will be able to manage.

Hamsara · 24/10/2026 18:17

We said everyone has some things that come easily and some things they find more difficult. Talked through that a bit, examples from us, DS, friends etc. When the pattern of things you find easy and difficult lines up a certain way that can be something called autism. Had a chat (crucially) about autistic people he knows IRL - we had been building positive connections on this for quite a while. We are wondering if you might be autistic like your friend Daniel, so we're going to this appt to look more into that.

You're not seeking a diagnosis, you are seeking an assessment to find out whether he is autistic or neurodivergent or whatever. All it is is asking someone who knows more about this than you do to take a look. If the "why" gets asked, it would be useful to know more about how his brain works so you know how to look after him best. Also he knew he found it hard to get his words out so anything that would mean he had to explain less to be understood was an easy sell.

The first morning after diagnosis he sprang out of his bedroom and said "I am a happy autistic boy".

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