Waiting for autism referral while supporting my daughter's mental health

[Tam45]

My daughter is 10 and has been struggling with her mental health following a bereavement of her Grampy. In school the teacher has noticed a few ticks and triggers and suggested an Autism referral. Over the last 5 years we have noticed things and now she's getting older it's more apparent that she is neurodivergent. We have asked her GP to send a referral to the right to choose provider and now waiting, we've informed CAMHS as we need some support with her emotions right now and we've emailed her school to request a meeting with the SENCO in SEPTEMBER. Not sure what to do next, she's a model student, but home life is up and down, she can't make friends easily or keep friends they think she's weird or crazy or babyish, academically she's doing well so the teachers don't pick up on any issues, but she has openly spoken about hurting herself and wanting to die so the referral is definitely what we need not only to get a diagnosis but more importantly to give her support in school and outside of school to help her with her mental health and well being.

Does anybody else have the same issues or any thoughts or guidance with this situation as I am very anxious about it all and want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to help her.

I’m sorry you’re in this situation - it’s very hard. We ended up taking our child, who had similar issues a few years later than your DD, to a private psychiatrist as CAHMS would have done nothing and his mental health was plummeting. He’s now on medication for anxiety and depression and we are accessing a private autism-affirming occupational therapist to understand more about the autism underpinning his mental ill health and support him practically. The OT has helped more than anyone. CAHMS is barely functional. Good luck - it’s so so hard and I feel for you.

For support supporting DD with her grief, have a look at Child Bereavement UK.

You might find the book the Out of Sync Child helpful.

How are DD’s eating and sleeping?

Support in schools is based on needs rather than diagnosis, so the school should definitely be providing support.