Sorry for long post. I'm driving myself mad and need a bit of wisdom.
My DS(9) has always been a bit slower than his peers. School have flagged some areas of concern around social skills/academics. We filled in forms for NHS ASD/ADHD assessments and we're promptly discharged for him not meeting criteria. We saw a private neurodevelopmental paediatrician in January who said no to ASD but maybe a language disorder/delay or ADHD. We had him assessed by an SLT who said some receptive language difficulties and social communication immaturies but probably not language disorder or ASD. He's now undergoing speech therapy to help with receptive language and the SLT (different one) said she does see traits of ASD.
It's all been a bit of a shock as we never suspected ASD. He's really sociable and a great kid at home. No problems with food, sleep or repetitive/restrictive behaviours etc. He just seems a lot younger than his peers and like he doesn't really know how to keep up socially and has a hard time concentrating which makes me think it could also be innattentive ADHD.
DH thinks we should just let him mature and see how he is in a year or two but I feel so terrible that we haven't been aware of this earlier that I'm terrified of waiting any longer. I know he won't qualify for an NHS assessment (low score on SCQ and is making progress in school now, also zero behavioural issues and loves school) so the only option would be to shell out for a private assessment. School have said they will support regardless so don't really need it from that point of view. I just feel like I have to know if there is something there and having missed all this in the past I feel like I can't trust my own judgement.
Any advice appreciated. What would be the up/downsides of going private at this point?
Thanks