do you ever feel like a non person?

[2shoescreepingthroughblood]

I am a SAHM but i have a job as dd's carer(dd has cp and is serverely disabled). I am pissed of with people(read db) and the comments about me getting out and doing something!!
I look after dd that is my job and I would not give it away.
Do you get fed up with people assuming that you just sit on your ass all day and not realiseing how much care go's into looking after an sn child.

I realise how much care goes into looking after a child with SN if that helps

Looking after any child is hard work never mind one with SN. Being a parent is the hardest bloddy job I've ever done. Your dd is lucky to have you 2shoes

Yep I know exactly what you mean. Even when your child isn't physically with you because of school etc there's still all the other stuff that goes with it - arranging appointments and meetings, the form-filling, looking for ways around whatever particular difficulty your child is having atm.

I get told I wasted my qualifications and MIL once said only stupid people look after kids - this was after me being a SAHM for 15 years!

Wish I could sit around on my arse all day cos I'd play computer games but dd requires 24 hours care a day.

I may slap the next person who says something like that to me.
I always get 'must be nice to be paid to stay at home and watch TV'
Although lovely dentist receptionist told me that I must be doing a great job as she didn't realise Ds was ASD even though he was 'organizing' the playroom!

Needmorecoffee you MIL sure does sound like a lovely lady???

My son is severly delayed and is only 2 at the moment. I work 30 hours a week at present and spend one day home a week. People always say 'oh it must be nice having a day home in the week' but I tell them that I work harder looking after my son and has seeing x ammount of professionals ( as weds is apointment day for us!) on my 'day off' that its much more work than actually being in the office. Of course its lovely to have a day off with him but its non-stop all day

Oh I've had the wasted education comments too! I also get treated as subhuman or as 2shoes put it a nonperson! I have the greatest respect for carers of severely disabled dcs- it really is round the clock triple full time job and very difficult to get support! Its hard I think for anyone who does not care for small or sn (ie very dependent) children to realise just how all time consuming it can be! But the thing that gets to me (a different rant - my Ds has more moderate needs which are are not immediatly obvious to the thoughtless) is the assumption that its my parenting thats caused the sn! When Ds started (ms) school his teacher said he wasnt used to doing as he was told - the profound language delay (ie he did not understand the request) and LD was irrelevant I suppose!
I work a little while my son is at school and its nice to be treated as a person for a couple of hours!!

I know what you mean 2shoes.

I wish I could get across to people just how tough it is, it's the ultimate full time job; 24/7.

i think and I might be wrong that it is your child and all parents look after their dc's. what they choose to forget is this job will NEVER end. I will be still looking after dd when she is a grown up.

oh I hate the way people forget/don't realise it doesn't ever end. the thought of care stretching into adulthood (and get so much physically harder) makes my eyes water. I'm exhausted after 8 years of it.

I have taken on some out of the home work now - it's for a break.

Yeah i feel like a non person too. I also get sick of being asked am i going anywhere at the weekend (pubs and clubs wise). I feel like saying No i am flaming well not, i have 2 children with Sn and i dont have a social life any more!