If you had an NON-autistic child would you feel offended if he/she was not invited to a birthday party of an AUTISTIC child you know

[MissesF]

serious thread title...honest!
the other thread got me thinking...about how i feel discriminated against by the parents who don't invite my sons...then i realised....i do exactly the same.

I actively CHOOSE to invite children to play round here,stay for tea etc...often we have maybe 4 + our own 3 in one day.

but these kids are either 'kids like my boys'...diagnosed or undiagnosed (they don't have to have a label in this house)....or even if i know the mum struggles i sometimes do it cos i know it gives her a break.

now that means, in theory... i could be seen as 'excluding' those kids considered 'non-disabled'...cos though the thread stated autism....my home is a welcoming place for ANY disability.

there. said it.!!!

Interesting thought! I think that it's harder to say with non-autistic children because that's the majority and you can't invite the whole school to a party! I think it depends on the ages of the children too. For example when they are very little 2 or 3 years old a lot of the choice of who is invited is more to do with whose mums you know rather than whether the children are firm friends. Then as the kids get older they start to choose their own friends and who you invite tends to be more determined by that.

An example being that my best friend in the village who has been very supportive to me about Ds2 has always invited my children to her children's parties and vice versa. HOwever this year for the first time she didn't invite Ds2 to her dd's party (they are about the same age). I was slightly upset although mostly relieved because it is usually quite stressful, but then I thought, DS2 goes to a different school to her dd - they don't really play together much anymore - if he was NT I wouldn't particularly expect an invite. Likewise when I had a little party for him I just invited a few friends from his school and not the NT children of MY friends.

In general I think it's better just not to get offended by who is or is not invited to parties. It all comes out in the wash. However I do think it is different when a child is being deliberately excluded because they are autistic and that is wrong.

exactly...its so hard to answer your child when they ask why they are not invited...for me this seems to hit home at about age 7...in all 3 of my boys...up to then they had a few invites ...enough to feel 'included'...then they moved up to juniors and it just stopped.

tbh the best partys I have been to have been are wher there has been a good mix. as dd goes to a sn school most of her school friends are severely disabeld. some can't eat or talk. I have been to a couple of partys where the only children there have been sn. boring I am afraid.
I always ask if I can take ds and other siblings go. much better.

Taking the OP totally at face value.. no I would not. NT DD gets scores of invites, so in the unlikely even that SN DS got invited to one that she didn't (ha!) then it wouldn't occur to her or me to mind!

Even my bloody next door neighbour only invited DD to her child's party at a play centre, despite her child being invited to all DDS's and DS's! And she knows DS loves play centres.

I despair of people over this party issue.