Signs in my 30 month old?

[KimchiLaLa]

Hi, first post in this section, pls tell me if I need it moved. I have a 30 month old, very bright, bubbly girl. A few things have made me question whether she has Aspergers. As background, my elder brother has aspergers and I strongly suspect my other brother does too.

• Nursery have said they are pleased with her progress but she plays "alongside" kids rather than with them
• Recently had an issue with our gas cooker and when I now have to turn it on, it makes that annoying clicking sound. Whenever it happens she says "I don't like that sound". I know not liking certain sounds is a sign.
• in the first week of lockdown, because it meant a change to her routine I think, (but this also accompanied a huge language explosion), she was having major tantrums. These have since subsided but not sure if the change in routine affected her too much.

If these all sound a bit like I'm overreacting, I'm sorry. I'm just well aware of aspergers due to the family history but her being so young, and being a first time parent, I wanted to ask.

It's difficult as everything you listed can be age appropriate and is not concerning on its own: she could be shy around other children which is not concerning, not liking just one or two distinct sounds is not concerning (i.e. hardly sensory), etc. How was her social communication prior to 18M? so did she point to request things and share interests (plane in the sky)? did she show you interesting things she found? etc... all prior to 18M? (most of the signs would have been there prior to 24M).

All of that fine - talks a lot, always been verbal, good at explaining feelings (told me earlier she was upset daddy didn't give her cake!). It's just these emerging things. I've read threads here when people say diagnosis earlier than 3 is very young...

Verbal communication will always be advanced or appropriate with Aspergers so it is not what you need to look at, non-verbal communication prior to her talking would be far more important when looking for 'red flags'. How was her non-verbal communication at 18M of age? did she point to share interests (like a plane in the sky)?

My little boy is now 5 and absolutely fine but at 27 months was very communication delayed and played alongside rather than with children, had some awful tantrums and a preoccupation with fences and lampposts (particularly lampposts!) I was beside myself with worry. And I’m not sure what happened but with time all of these things evened out. His language started developing, he grew in confidence and made friends and the behaviour (though he’s still fiery!!) and the preoccupations fell away. Obviously no one can diagnose your little one but I’ve been where you are and my bright little boy is absolutely fine despite me seeming to find lots of signs that he wasn’t. There’s so much out there that we can ‘diagnose’ our kids with but the truth is whilst sometimes there is something to worry about, often kids are just developing in their own time and way. If you’re concerned do pursue it but please don’t worry unduly x