how do i tell my 8yo he has aspergers?

[gringottsgoblin]

we have been on list to see person who can officially diagnose him for ages, and we have now been sent an appointment. so i have to go in and tell this guy thats what the problem is infront of ds.

he has a statement, school know he has AS and he has an AS specialist come into school to work with him. but i have never actually told him. what do i say without making him feel bad? is that even possible?

DS1 doesn't feel ad about his HFA, which he calls Asperfgers becasue the Paed we have tends to lump the twpo together a lot. We have tried to point out as many differences in other people as we can when discussing it- OK ds1 can't understand some non-literal expressions (or whatever the issue is): child X can't understand what ds1 says because he was born abroad, child Y can't run very fast; child Z isn't good at drawing; ds1 is fantastic at athletics; child x is amazing at chess; chidl y is good at....

can you see what I'm getting at? Sorry if not!

Basically, we have just explained it as one of many differences that we all have, if questions come up we just answer them honestly,, ds1 does get some 1-1 so must ahev realised the differences that were there- he needed an explanation. Actually i think it's good for epople on the spectrum to have an explanation if they can understandit, better to have a reason than to label ojneself as odd or unlikeable as so many sadly do

School feel we shouldn't have disclosed, as ds1's explanations of I struggle with (Iirc behaviour in large groups) was met with a 'ds1 was good at plytime today even though he is asd' by another pupil in class time. Me, I think school should go bugger themselves with a bargepole- ds1 has a right to be accepted for what and who he is, if the otehr kids realise asd is aprt of that then great, better than the whole alien in the playground thing imo

i do see what you mean peachy, that sounds a good way to tackle it.i honestly dont know if he has noticed he is different or not, there are lots of nurture groups and things going on so its not only him who disappears off during lessons. i will def think up some good aspects of AS aswell so i can put them forwards as part of it

well i was a lot more bothered than he was, got a quiet minute earlier so had a bit of a chat, he listened then ran off to play football. he 'doesnt mind having aspergers, but he would rather play football' lol