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SN children

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Original poster

How can I stop my Ds squeezing my head?

16 replies

staryeyed · 03/09/2007 19:18

This started as a very affectionate squeeze from my ds 2.4. It has gradually turned into something that is quite aggressive and obsessive he does it all the time. I have tried ignoring and walking away but its not always possible to walk away. The last straw was last night when he kept me up all night laughing manically then crying and squeezing my head ALL NIGHT LONG! I was so tired going to work this morning. Anyway how do I get him to stop? Please tell me I can get him to stop! Its driving me absolutely nuts!!

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luckylady74 · 03/09/2007 20:09

i'm sorry that i have nothing useful to advise, but i'm watching as i think any advice you do get might help me work out how to get my ds1 to stop the 'affectionate' slapping - i feel like i'm being cruel, but it really hurts!

EscapeFrom · 03/09/2007 20:10

I suppose you have tried putting him in his bedroom with a stair gate?>

Original poster

staryeyed · 03/09/2007 20:15

Um actually he sleeps in my bed with me. He doesn't normally do it at night time its more in the day.

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EscapeFrom · 03/09/2007 20:28

What's the nature of his SN? Is it Autism? I ask because it may be the way you react that is triggering the behavior.

Original poster

staryeyed · 03/09/2007 20:32

yes he has autism. The thing is I know its probably my fault because when he first started it was very sweet and I encouraged him and when it became more boisterous I went with it and played the game thinking it was just a phase silly silly me. Now I just ignore as much as possible and walk away if I can.

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EscapeFrom · 03/09/2007 20:35

Maybe it is the feeling of pressure on his arms when he squeezes your head - so if you could find a way to give him some pressure on his arms at other times, he would enjoy that and the head squeezing would stop.

how about something like - the toes cut off a sock, and rolled onto his arms? It would squeeze his arms for him.

Original poster

staryeyed · 03/09/2007 20:44

Do you mean tight socks Escapefrom. He also bites sometimes as well and rubs his head all over mine.

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EscapeFrom · 03/09/2007 20:49

Yes, tight enought to squeeze. As for the head rubbing, how about scalp massage for him? The biting I can't help with, but it all sounds like an urge for contact and sensory input.

Original poster

staryeyed · 03/09/2007 20:51

Thanks escapefrom I will try that.

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mymatemax · 03/09/2007 21:05

We swapped ds's bites for kisses - We learnt to recognise when he was about to bite & we would say No bites, kisses - with all the usual loads of praise for kisses etc.
He also had a cloth he would bite instead. It took a while but now he knows you kiss people & bite the cloth.

I hope you have a better night tonight.

MegaLegs · 03/09/2007 21:14

staryeyed - my DS is almost same age as yours. He has no dx yet but he behaves in a similar way to your DS at night. He had always slept well until a month ago (postMRI scan)when he would wake screaming. He has slept in our bed everynight since and spends alot of the time biting me, smacking me in the face or trying to lie across me. I am knackered and don't know what to do with him. Tonight we have put him in a toddler bed, with a bed guard and a stairgate on the door. It took ages to get him off to sleep but he is sleeping at the moment.

No answers for you but just wanted you to know you are not alone and I'll be keeping a eye on this thread.

tobysmumkent · 03/09/2007 21:53

Message withdrawn

Original poster

staryeyed · 03/09/2007 22:08

Its good to know Im no the only one megalegs I hope your son sleeps better tonight. Can I ask why the MRI scan?

Will also try the covering the eyes thing Tobysmum

He's squeezing my head right now and I got DP to cover his eyes. Seems to have worked. Will keep trying.

I tried swapping head squeezes for stroking my hair and cuddles but it didnt work. He just cant seem to control the urge.

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OrangeMoon · 04/09/2007 12:56

How about giving him a football to squeeze when he goes to squeeze your head? We had sort of the same thing with dd, she would squeeze my hand, it was a comfort thing for her but painful for me so we swapped my hand for playdough and a stress ball, luckily for me she grew out of it a while ago.

MegaLegs · 04/09/2007 17:09

Our DS had the MRI scan to see if he has any brain damage that might be causing his GDD and hypotonia. Fortunately it was all clear. The GA freaked him out a bit (hated the mask for the gas) and he has had disturbed nights ever sonce, spending most of the night in our bed, biting, hitting and pulling hair or trying to lie across me - nightmare and with 3 others to look after too we need a good sleep.

Last night was a success. He woke at about 3 but instead of bringing him to our bed I laid down on his until he settled, 20 mins later we were all back in the land of nod and the right beds!

Hope some of the strategies suggested here help with the head squeezing stary.

Original poster

staryeyed · 04/09/2007 17:43

Oh well Im glad the scan was clear and you got a decent night sleep megalegs.

My sleep was much better last night although not quite normal. He settled for resting his hand on my head so that's ok.

Thanks for all the suggestion I will try them and let you know how I get on.

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