ASD and going out...... what can I do????

[nicand2]

My DS1 is 2 1/2 and was diagnosed a couple of months ago. Up til now the only obvious signs were a speech delay and a few odd habbits but all of a sudden he won't go anywhere, I know it's because he's anxious and not part of his routine but how do I live any kind of normal life like this??

Today i have attempted for the second time this week to go to the supermarket. He won't walk alongside the trolley so I have to put him in the seat to keep control but as of this week he just goes rigid and after 25 minutes of doing everything I could think of (cuddles, distraction, calming down and trying again etc) I gave up and came home in floods of tears. I know I can do internet shopping but it's not just the supermarket, it's anywhere he takes a dislike to.

Its very early days for us with his diagnosis and I just wanted to know if anyone out there had overcome any of this either by technique or over time?

Social stories can be useful but he may be a bit young for them. Some children with ASD find it helpful to know how long something is going to take. I know he's too young to tell the time but ds found it really stressful when he didn't know exactly what was going to happen and when. We used to say something like. "First we are going to do.....then when the big hand reaches the number ... we are ging to such and such" and this seemed to help him relax.

Thanks dustystar, just having a relaxing cuppa to calm down and feeling a bit better.

I may try a bit of preparation in future, I'm never sure if I should keep trying or resign myself to giving up on at least taking him shopping for a while?

Hi there

I saw your message and just wanted to say we are in a similar situation to you. Our little boy, also 2 1/2, was diagnosed in March. He has made a lot of progression recently eye contact, interaction wise but has taken a dislike to going to grandparents (which he loves when there) and also coming in our front door. For us it was changes ie: in our house new flooring and table and he was unsure. I cannot promise you but can only advise from what we have experienced in that it does pass or ease with time! Daniel is very attached to his bear so he accompanies us to places he is not keen on. Does your child have anything that they are particularly attached to, as a distraction, that would is feasible to take with you.

Another thing we have been advised to do is use of photos to show Daniel what is coming next. Now, I am not sure if you really want to be taking photos in your supermarket but it might make it more familiar and give warning.

I am away this weekend but will follow this thread as you are probably at a similar stage to us, experiencing similar things, and it would be interesting to know what is advised!

Wishing you all the best
Kirsty

ds1 has been through phases of this. Different places at different times. For about a year no to beaches or any grass, then it was houses and buildings. It may be sensory (supermarket is loud and noisy). Sunglasses, earmuffs may help. (then try and wean off). Other than that all you can do is keep trying but be prepared to bail out. We tried jollying along and that didn't help. A sensory programme may help- I've put a link to a good website for sensory play on my website .

It'll probably go as quickly as it started- but may take a long time.

Dinosaur, it gets you down doesn't it! I am able to keep calm but get really frustrated at all the people who stare at you and your 'naughty' child. My DH suggested getting a T shirt printed with 'I'm not naughty, I'm autistic' on it.

I must join the NAS is it useful?

Does anyone know what kind of things they offer?

'slack jawed gapers'. Love it!
The supermarket and the whole going out thing was an issue for my ds when he was littler. He'd scream, lie on the floor and take all his clothes off. I'd end up in tears. Eventually I went in the evening without him. Going anywhere was the same. We couldn't go on holiday or out on trips. It got to the point where I'd take the other two out and leave him at home with hubby.
Then there was school....every day from age 4 till age 7 I carried him kicking and screaming to that place. He'd then spend the day under the table. In the mornings he'd hide his uniform and wrap his duvet around himself so I'd have to lever him out of it, dress a flailing child etc etc.
Gawds, I'd forgotten how awful most of it was!
Then I discoevered home education. No more school battles. We could introduce ds to stuff at his own pace (he has sensory issues too - used to go into someone's house and announce that it smelled and then holler to leave). I also stopped doing stuff that bothered him. He hated visiting a certain friend cos she had a dog and he was terrified. Gradually, from 7-12 he became more tolerant because I let him do it at his own pace. As late as last year he would bolt down the road if a car came up behind us (and we live in a busy city)
Now at 13 he has returnd to school and gets himself there on the bus. He is stillweird about somethings though. Outside of school he refuses to go outside, still can'tbear noise, chewing, eating in company. Most days I don't think about his ASD cos I'm dealing witha 3 yo with CP but some days I get reminders. Like I bought the wrong beans and he wont eat anything except Heinz. This meant he refused the dinner cos he HAS to have beans with all food.
I think after 13 years his behaviour is now more exasperating to me and I have got used to doing things a certain way. Almost seems like second nature now.
One day though I'd like to go on holiday! He still can't cope with that.

nic, I really can sympathise, we have struggled for so long to get ds2 to go anywhere. He would be so content if only he never had to leave the house.
It has just taken persistence to keep going out otherwise I fear family life would become reclusive for all of us.
He will go round the supermarket calmly now but only sitting in the safety of his major buggy & with his notebook & pen; it gives him something to focus on. If it's very busy/noisy he also has a blanket over his head. Obviously this prompts lots of stares, but really I'm past noticing or caring anymore.
It does mean I have to have someone else with me to push the trolley or just do small shops daily with a basket which is a pain.