Fear of certain noises hugely impacting daily life, it’s depressing, what can I do?

[Blossom4538]

Things are just awful at the minute. Both H and I are struggling.

Dd’s fear of noises is really severe at the moment. We can manage the handdryers, etc, but it’s terrible when she can’t cope with the slightest sniffle, sneeze, cough, nose blow or even loud breath. It’s making life at home miserable and really tricky. She will physically attack us or shout “shut up you idiot” - Language she hasn’t picked up from us. She hates me due to this, literally hates me. Loves her teacher and cat, defeats me. I was kicked, pinched and hit all within the first hour of being awake this morning. Also terrible if she can’t get her own way. She hates us.

No one knows how tough it can be at home and we generally cope quite well but things are really hard at the minute.

No diagnosis of autism as yet, anxiety sensory and Selective Mutism.

We have just started work with OT for motor and sensory issues. Looks as though she had very flexible or loose joints too.

I have no idea if she is HFA (feels like Aspergers traits), Dysraxic or just social anxiety and sensory issues x

Sorry dyspraxic

Also, it’s not a heat of the moment thing, she genuinely always tells me how much she hates me. She knows how much I love her. She is our only child.

Yes, we use them out and about in public toilets but perhaps I will suggest at home. She sometimes refuses. She spent today either naked or in her onesie and retreated to a den she made in her room for most of the day, refusing to go out at all. I spent a lot of time with her. She’s been very physically aggressive today.

Sensory integration might be your friend here. Done properly it can be really amazing.

There are also various types of auditory integration. We did therapeutic listening. I'm a bit undecided about it. It did coincide with a lot more tolerance of the vacuum cleaner, but I can't prove causation.

I think anxiety makes all of this worse, so focusing on reducing that as much as you can would be good, I think.

But I think severe sensory problems are massively anxiety inducing in themselves. And if that's all you know, you don't even know to tell your parents how hard balance is, or how your arms don't feel right.

The den sounds like a brilliant bit of problem solving by her.