Told off at zoo yesterday by an SN Mum for allowing DS1 to

[PeachyChocolateEClair]

Use the disabled toilets.

Apparently they are only for mobility disabled people, the fact that Sam has AS and doesn't tell me he needs the loo until it is too late is behaviioural and not a true disability.

As it happens, I only use them if I have to- mainly because of queue length, or I'd have a wet child. Rather annoying though! Thought we SN Mums were meant to stick together?

Well my dd is on the disability register and I was told that she could use the disabled toilets if we needed her to.

I would have said that it wasn't up to her to decide how "disabled" you have to be or what the criteria was ffs.

did she understand when you explain to her?

Which zoo? the loos at London zoo have the changing table in, so they must be for families too. I used them on Monday as I had to bring both kids in with me as ds wanted to use the loo. Don't give it a second thought. Sounds like she was trying to pick a fight.

DS1 is on the disability reg, he gets higher rate care as well.

I wouldn't feel too abd about using them for ds3 either- just coz he's waiting for a DX as opposed to having one, doesn't mean he doesn't need them.

yes I think she was looking for a fight- I did explain he was on the Autistic Spectrum but she clearly didn't believe in ASD. They are out there the non-believers.

Oh it was Bristol Zoo- the disablity loo in the normal loo, as opposed to the specially seta side one further out (which has an adult changing table which I thought was fab)

Oh ffs - stupid cow.

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those disability signs are there to indicate that the toilets are suitable, not exclusively for her use! when they have the multiple signs to show you there are disability, male, female, changing rooms & feeding rooms together, does that mean you need to be male & female & a baby & etc etc?

Poor you, how horrid and . She may like to educate herself to learn that not all disabilities are visible. Blind and Deaf people don't look disabled, nor do ASD children.

Silly cow, she'd have real issues with me then. I use the disabled toilet myself as I can't get ds2 in his mjr buggy in normal loos. he's still in nappies so doesn't need one himself & he gets too distressed if i leave him outside the cubicle plus too much noise/handryers etc.

I use disabled loos too - P is in nappies, but there is no way I'm leaving a non-mobile non-verbal child sitting outside the loo!! Anyone could take her!

((((((((PeachyChocolateEClair ))))))))

Some mums do have hang ups including special needs mums.

You do not need to justify your position.

If she has issues then she should it up with the zoo staff.

I use disabled loos when DD is with me. Can't leave her parked in her wheelchair outside a cubicle.Not that anyone would be foolish enough to steal her with the volumne she manages! Mind you, people then assume I was in there for DD.
I have an AS son too Peachy and until he was 10 I had to take him into the female loos with me. And stand with my back to the open cubicle door cos he's scared of closing the door AND make sure no-one else dared use any of the other loos. This was generally after at least an hour of him crossing his legs, hopping up and down wanting to go home etc because he hasa fear of loos that aren't ours. I've lost count of the number of accidents he had when his cheek clenching failed. Now he's 13 he just doesn't go out anywhere! Easier on the loo front but a bit worrying on getting used to the world :-(

Could you get him into the Ladies? LAst time I tried to get ds1 in the ladies, he thumped me and laid me out on the floor of Tescos (jhas happened a few times). Thre Ladies sign is a hige rule- barrier to him.

Now I've got past the shock / humiliation I'm realising that yes, it was her problems not mine. Certainly she has a more obviou8s need for the loo, but a wet child = a wet child regardless of diagnosis. I think she is one of those 'my child is worse than your' competitive Mums- can't see beyond the end of her nose to other people's problems. Sam might be mobile, for example, but I think an ability to make a friend for example is pretty disableing. .

Not even mentioning what happened last time DS1 went into a loo alone (for those who are newer, he was attacked by some children who said he souldnt bethere, samshed his head against a cistern and left him badly bruised).

If we ever get ds3 to the stage where he needs the toilets, maybe I should just give up and take a portalloo everywhere.

I had a similar run-in in Ikea with an elderly couple (her in a wheelchair) when I emerged from a disabled loo with DD1. DD1 was fairly obviously SN (and not particularly mobile), but apparently "disabled" = "in a wheelchair" and if she's not old enough for a wheelchair then she's not allowed to use the disabled loos.

Some folk are just like that, I'm afraid. If they were on the Titanic, they'd be the ones insisting that first-class passengers get into the lifeboats first.....

Didn't have too much trouble getting him into th ladies loo. The trouble came actually getting him to own up to needing a wee cos it was so traumatic for him!
When he was at school he didn't go all day so I'd go fetch him and we'd have to sprint the mile home. Sometimes he'd stop and walk splay legged and I'd know we hadn't made it
Looking back I think the loo issues went on from about 2 till 9. He's now 13 and apart from still disliking flushing he goes without any bother.
Now if I could just solve the 'changing of the clothes' thing. Unsure if thats part of his AS or typical teenage boy! the two things kinda blend into each other at this age!