DS1 is being referred for a full developmental assessment.

[pinkchampagne]

Spoke to the SENCO yesterday & expressed my concerns following his school report.
I told her that I was going to the doctors with him to see about a referral, and she told me that she could sort a referral for me.
She is sending a letter out to the school nurse requesting a full developmental assessment & advice on whether there are any specific difficulties with his motor skills, and whether there are any other factors contributing to his lack of progress.
She is sending the letter out today & has given me a draft copy.
I am pleased something is being done, but feel a bit emotional about it all too.

glad to see something is being done but i know what you mean about emotional too, i remember telling the pead that i thought DS had autism, she saidshe agreed with me, it was one time in my life that i wanted someone to disagree with me, be kind to yourself and know that you are doing the right thing to help your child.

It is an emotional time, but very positive also because you will (hopefully) end up getting the right help for DS1. Keep strong

I know this may not make sense, but for years I have been fighting against DS getting a dx. I didn't want to face up to the fact something could be wrong & would try & convince teachers, nursery surpervisors, pre-school advosor, SENCO etc, that he was just lacking in confidence like I did as a child.
I knew deep down that there was a pretty good chance something was wrong, but I didn't want to admit it.
Now he is in year 2, the problems are just not going away - infact they appear more worrying than ever, and I have realised that DS is not progressing as he should & that he really needs help. Having to pretty much admit there is something wrong & request the assessment is kind of hard, but I know it really needs to happen.

His teacher has gone off sick with stress now too, and I am so worried about DS slumping further due to lots of different supply teachers covering.

Try not to worry. Kids have to get used to many different adults around them every day. They may not like it at first, but I think they do get used to it. My DS1 has had to get used to loads of different adults since starting school, I was worried about this, but I think they are more adaptable than we give them credit for. I shouldn't give yourself anything else to worry about. You have started the ball rolling and once things are sorted out, your DS can start to receive the right help for him. Easy to say in a sentence i know, but you are doing the right thing. Just take a breath and feel pleased you are taking the right steps to sorting this out

I know & I am pleased something is being done, as I have been getting myself in such a state worrying about him recently.
It's just the facing up to the fact that DS does have problems & does need help.

I told the SENCO that I am at a real loss because I just don't know what I can do to help him.
She said that the school are also at a bit of a loss, so he really does need this referral.

You are pretty close to me then Fio! I am in Deal & Tessiebear is a close friend of mine, but I am not her!!
She hasn't been on for a while, as she has been without a PC due to having an extension done.
I used to be blueteddy!

I just want to echo what the others have said, really - it's normal to be emotional, it's normal to be in denial. I was very seriously in denial about DS3 until last summer, even though DS1 has a dx and DS3 was very obviously developmentally behind DS1 at the same age.

It does get busy - it can be a blimmin nightmare to park there too!
Haven't been since before Christmas, but have hit Canterbury once too often in the last month or so & am trying to resist the urge to spend anymore money!

Sorry - was trying to talk on the phone while typing out my last post, so just seen yours, dino!

Did you get DS3 referred in the end?

Sorry, I am a bit slow today! Just read your e mail, dino, which has answered my last q!

Feel I may be in need of a drink tonight!

Hope your referral goes through soon!

You might still not get a diagnosis - but as magsi says, hopefully you will get the help you and DS need

Good luck with the referral.

No, I guess it could be the start of a long road, but at least things are now being done.
The school really don't know what to do with him because they have tried the small groups & individual support, but DS is so lathargic & strong willed that he doesn't always respond to their questions & instructions.
I am at a total loss as to what I can do for him too, and I get very upset.
He really does need this referral.

Thanks, coppertop.

I remember feeling like this too PC, when I suspected that DD3 had ASD along with Downs syndrome. I voiced my fears for first time to a SALT. I was gutted when she agreed with me
But since diagnosis, she has started to make slow progress. I hope your son gets the help he needs - take good care of yourself xx

I'm glad to hear your DD has started to make progress, THG.
It's hard isn't it? It has taken me a long time to reach the point of accepting DS does have problems & that they need addressing ASAP. I really didn't want to face up to the fact that my boy had a problem.
I feel I have had to face up to it & know that putting things off, or sweeping them under the carpet, is not going to help DS, so I guess this referral is a positive thing, even though it is also kind of hard.

Yes - when she was born, although she had DS, I was hoping for inclusion in mainstream school, but by the age of 3-4 it was clear that was not at all right for her. She has never spoken, I don't know if she ever will But since diagnosis of ASD, she has gone to a wonderful special school, and has started to sign again. I'm over the moon about this!
I know your boy's problems are very different to my Issy's but an accurate assessment of his problems and needs will make such a difference to him.

Sounds like you have had a really tough time, THG. I'm really pleased your Issy is doing so well now.

I know that in the long run this referral is a positive thing & it is something I've pushed for myself - but whenever I am forced to face facts about DS, I get very emotional.
Does this ever ease at all?

Yes, I think it does ease, especially when your child gets the right help and makes some progress - it kind of vindicates all you went thru IYSWIM. But the sadness that all is not "normal" (whatever) comes back at certain times, it doesn't ever go away for good in my opinion. BUT at the risk of being pollyanna, I think when you talk to other people with problems, you realise your own aint so bad.......
My gal has an extra chromosome, has autism, is a bit deaf - but still has learned to sign "biscuit", and dance to the "friends" theme tune!! I wouldn't swap her.

She sounds adorable, THG!