So after a long wait since Christmas, I finally called CAMHS, who said school's paperwork hadn't reached them . I knew our lovely SENCO had sent the paperwork because I'd been with her on the day she'd sent it and she chased me to make sure I'd sent my paperwork in, telling me that she had sent her paperwork and emailed CAMHS to tell them that she had done so. But CAMHS said they had neither the paperwork or the email.
So 6 weeks later, SENCO (who is great) resubmitted. Then a few days later they said that one page was missing. .
Anyway. Today, 14 weeks after I first emailed my self-referral and 8 weeks after we first submitted our assessment forms, I've found out that DD2 has passed 'stage 2' of the process and will get an initial assessment appointment.
The waiting list is very long, apparently, so we won't hear anything else until at least April, but she will be seen.
Of course, they could decide at that appointment that she doesn't require in depth assessment, but at least they are going to see her.