DOes this relate to your child? (Autism)

[DollyKoo]

I made an observation in a parenting group today that no one seemed to relate to.

Dd (4) has very little ability to distinguish real and not real, this can cause real terror in the case of historical reenactment or panto etc. She is very on edge as she does not understand some things just don't happen, say a fairy could steal the baby. She will try to resolve real life issues with magic, e.g. Using Elsa's frozen magic hands to repel someone too close. It's both her biggest cause of upset and joy.

Is this common? I felt as if I had two heads...

She sounds very similar to my eldest, now 7. She used to turn me to ice with her Elsa hands if she was cross with me though. I did find that turning myself to ice did help though and she knew I wasn't really ice. She would sob at some cbeebies episodes. E.g. when Bing fell me the swing or got hissed at by a cat. We couldn't watch Peter rabbit as she was terrified. I was forever simplying the most basic story so nothing bad happened.
She is now 7 and copes with Peter rabbit but won't watch any films or programmes with conflict. We took her to see finding Dory. I told her the story she sobbed through it just in case this time dory didn't find her mum.
I work with children with Autism. My daughter shows no behaviours that would make me feel she may have autism. Though I do use a lot of tools with her to help prevent anxiety. such as social stories and emotional expression techniques.
Her school have been amazing.
Is it just that she has no concept of the difference between real and make believe that is concerning you?

Sorry I wasn't clear, this was at an autism group. She is autistic, we were discussing things and she was the only one to do this... I was wondering more if it was unusual for Autism.

I find it goes a bit further to generalising to all situations, and creates a lot of anxiety. Weirdly she won't often be terrified during a film, but later in a situation

Aah sorry I misunderstood. I don't think it is common. However, it also isn't rare. I have worked with people with Autism for over 20 years and clearly remember 2 teenagers who could not distinguish between fact and fiction.

To a far lesser degree I think alot of autistic and Neuro typical children struggle with certain aspects- scared of people dressed up, monsters in wardrobes etc.

Hope someone much more helpful comes along soon.

My ds had difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality at that age.

He had imaginary friends, who he would insist were not imaginary. He would draw maps of places that didn't exist and get very distressed if I would not take him there etc.

He is now 13 and knows the difference.

"Another constructive adaptation to the characteristics of Asperger's syndrome used by girls and women is to use imitation or imagination. The girls may identify someone who is socially successful and popular, either from her peers or a character in a television soap opera and adopt that person's persona in mimicking speech patterns, phrases, body language and even clothing and interests using a social script. She becomes someone else, someone who would be accepted and not recognised as different. She learns how to act in specific situations, a strategy that Liane found so successful that people thought her social abilities were intuitive and could not believe this was an artificial performance. Girls and women who have Asperger's syndrome can be like a chameleon, changing persona according to the situation, but no one knowing the genuine persona. She fears that the real person must remain secret because that person is defective.

Some girls may not seek integration but escape into imagination. If you are not successful with your peers, you can try to find an alternative world where you are valued and appreciated. The girl may identify with a fictional character such as Harry Potter or Hermione Granger, who faces adversity but has special powers and friends. If she feels lonely, then imaginary friends can provide companionship, support and comfort. There can be an interest in ancient civilizations to find an old world in which you would feel at home, or another country such as Japan where you would be accepted and of like mind or even another planet with an interest in science fiction or a special and intense interest in the traditional fantasy worlds of witches, fairies and mythology. Many typical children occasionally enjoy escaping into imagination, but for the child with Asperger's syndrome, and especially the girl with Asperger's syndrome, the reasons are qualitatively different and the fantasy world can become a means of avoiding reality and experiencing a relatively safe and successful social life"

tonyattwood.com.au/about-aspergers/girls-and-women-who-have-aspergers

My DD, who is now a teenager, recently said to me 'you know when I was little I thought everything was real, that the owl would come and I would go to Hogwarts, that Nemo's mum really disappeared'.
I did know that she had problems with things that confused real life and fiction (e.g. Seeing people she knew dressed up as characters or talking about characters in a tv show as if they were real people) but hadn't really understood the extent of it.
Now she thinks she knows the difference, but I'm not sure if, in completely new situations, she really does. So e.g. the possibility of people being not what they seem on the internet is an area of difficulty for us.

Ds would try to open doors in books. He is five and still has some anxiety around identifying what is real and what isn't

Thank you, I found it interesting. In her original assessment they did things like stir a cup with a banana, she has a great visual memory so indentifies that... but by knowing what should b there.

I must say overall I dislike this group, they al seen to teenage/ older child high functioning mini geniuses.

Whilst I know they have issues, it's shit to be in the same group when you are wondering if your 4 yr old will ever get there. They don't see to relate to thinks like speech delay, trouble learning etc and just look at me funny before dominating chat again. It is starting to depress me a bit, sort of being in a group for support yet being the bottom of th group... almost seems to rub my face in issues iyswim? They speak of talking one years olds and being find in preschool, whereas my 4 yr old has poor speech and is THATchild in any setting. I get more support off other friends as at least they are sympathetic