School voicing concerns for DS - not sure where to go from here

[TheSnailOnTheTailOfTheWhale]

Hi, this is my first post here, so I hope I've come to the right place!

My DS turned 3 in December and started attending nursery at the local school at the beginning of January. He has been attending now for 2 and a half weeks and, yesterday, when DP collected him, the class teacher took him to one side and asked to speak to him about some 'differences' she had noticed between DS and the other children.

She has voiced some concerns that DS does not communicate at all with the other children or really with the staff. He does not always respond when his name is called and does not co-operate when asked to take part in an activity with the other children, such as sitting down on the mat to listen to a story, preferring to wander around the classroom!

DP works with adults who have learning disabilities and asked them whether they were suggesting that this may be related to ASD. She said that this was certainly a possibility and that she would try to keep a close eye on him over the coming weeks.

I have always considered DS to have good communication skills. He met the usual milestones for speech and communicates well with members of our family at home and the health visitor showed do concerns at his 2 year check up. He responds when called, can answer questions and shows no particular difficulty in following instructions. He does display some slightly unusual behaviour; he likes to jump up and down a lot and often repeats the same words or phrases over and over again. He also develops little obsessions with things (at the moment it's hoovers!) and, when he was younger, did enjoy watching repetitive actions such as spinning the wheels of toy cars around and watching them or enjoying watching the toilet being flushed, although he seems to have mostly grown out of this.

I have previously wondered whether he may have some issues as he was a particularly high maintenance baby but, as he's continued to develop, he seems a happy and content child.

I suppose this has just reawakened my fears for DS and I was wondering whether anyone had any advice for our situation. I don't have any other children of my own (although I do have a DSS who is 4) and feel like I have totally failed to notice any of these flags and just put them down to little quirks of his personality. I also have no idea how to proceed with this... do we contact our GP? Is it something we follow up with school? I just feel completely clueless and lost but am determined to do the best thing for DS and make sure he is getting any support he may need.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your response

To be honest, just putting it down in writing (rather than the frantic google-ing I've been doing) has made me feel a little bit clearer!

I will certainly contact our GP and see if they will check his hearing. He has also been attending a private nursery 2 afternoons a week since he was 8 months and, although they've never voiced any concerns, I think we might go and have a chat with the manager and see whether his behaviour is similar there.

Thank you for the link, I will have a good read

He sounds great! And it sounds like you've really understood him and helped his development.

But there is a difference between home and school. Especially where the social communication comes in. It's also possible the other setting see 'Ds' and so don't see him compared to his peers iyswim? A fresh set of eyes can make all the difference for a child.

Whether it's asd, something else or just a settling in issue no one can tell you. But you are absolutely right that approaching GP for assessment is a good start. It'll help unravel everything and show where Ds needs some extra support.

Thanks for the advice.

I've had a good chat with his teacher today and it seems that's where the issue lies. Perhaps the way we have learnt to communicate with him at home is different to the way they typically communicate in a social situation like school. She has suggested a referral to the speech and language therapist so hopefully that will help things along