First Paediatrician apt for my son aged 2 on Monday...

[Heytheredelilah1987]

Any advice before we start this? I have made some notes! I'm so nervous for my boy. So scared too they'll think I'm just trying to label him or something. In actual fact it's others that have pointed out concern to me that made me go and see the gp for a referall. We are lucky that we have a clinical consultant psychologist in the family who is coming to the first apt with us. She's keen to help us get DS assessed and get access to the help he clearly requires.

Without knowing anything about your ds or what the concerns are, my generalised advice is to try to write down before you go, what the concerns are (as you have started). Try to be specific with length of time / number of times / number of words / frequency of...? / etc.

So - rather than putting 'he doesn't sleep well' {just as an example} put "On Friday night we put him down at 8pm. He took 2 hours to settle before dropping off. Then woke at 1pm and was screaming for 30mins before we could settle him but he was still awake until3am" This is typical.
Or "He can say 'Mum, cat, bye, and no' in a way that we understand but they aren't really clear' or 'He copies the last word we say, but says nothing spontaneously' etc., rather than 'We are concerned about his speech.
'He seems to have tantrums that last much longer than his cousins - can scream for 40mins at time, and does this 3 or 4 times a day'
or

• rather than 'Is a fussy eater' say 'Will only eat food if it is beige in colour'

and so on and so forth.

Thanks Back. So basically give specific examples? I've recorded lots of behaviour in a notebook so I'll refer to that !

I brought a document with ds's development history and current development & behaviour under specific headings eg play, social etc. And examples as given above. It was all the paediatrician was planning on asking me but I didn't want to forget things or have them mistaken as I spoke them and she wrote them. She added my document to his file.

You're documenting facts rather than telling them what conclusion to draw.

After our first appointment he was given a preliminary diagnosis of autism dependent upon hearing and genetic testing. No referrals to anything we're made until confirmation of diagnosis on his 3rd birthday. Then there was more waiting until Portage had space for him and SALT was useless for us. I helped him more from what I learnt online until he could go to an excellent nursery.

Thanks Anti. What did you learn online ? Did he go to a Sen nursery?

He went to a private nursery with high staff ratio and an excellent SENCO. Actually, he'd previously spent two weeks at an LA nursery and I took him out as he was distressed at story time and they told me I should take him home until he could manage it. Lovely nursery SENCO was gobsmacked and said how would he learn that if he wasn't there?! They let him do his own thing at story time after showing him his cushion, then kept an eye and saw him interact with the story away from the group and then saw him moving closer until he was comfortable. Just immediately understanding and working with him.

I learnt all I could about autism (not sure if this is your child's issue) and his presentation then came up with what worked best for him. My goal was for most of his day to be lovely and happy with positive feedback, like an NT child. And for his normal not to be screaming meltdowns. So low demand, low stress and meeting him in his obsessions and drawing him out. I guess I just formed an ethos rather than a more prescriptive behaviour/intervention model. But as I said, this was also due to his presentation of autism and there are many kinds so it would depend on the individual child.

I realise this is a bit late if your appt is Monday, but where I live, the Paediatricians really appreciate information from their Nurseries if they go to one - they will have developmental profiles and can also give a view based on how the dc is in a different environment / with other children.

Anti that sounds wonderful. Our son starts nursery soon and I've already had a meeting with Sendias present to talk about what they'll do to accommodate him. They've assured me he will have one to one and are hopefully going to assist him as he needs it. My son has Autism (we suspect - so do various professionals) and he also has extreme meltdowns frequently- so 1 on 1 care is needed for everyone's wellbeing and safety!

Back yes thanks, he starts in the next month, but a key worker who runs a local sen group who has phoned and emailed the paeds already about our son and what she has witnessed (this enabled him to get seen quicker as he basically bites his arm and also is violent to others , so she felt he should be seen asap)