ds3 with ASD seems to have an irrational fear of going to the toilet - WHAT can I do??

[QueenEagle]

ds3 (aged 4) has asd - one of the times he kicks off hysterically is when he has to go for a wee or a poo.

He always says "I don't need a wee" even when he is actually weeing. Or "I don't know how do a wee". Or "I did one yesterday". He kicks, screams, punches me or dh whenever we take him - we may as well say "Right, time for your head to be chopped off!" judging by his reaction.

He soils his pants and wets himself after saying he doesn't want one but then denies it belongs to him. If anyone can give any tips on how to deal with him, I would be soooo grateful. It's driving me bloody nuts, quite frankly.

Anyone?

Is he actually using a toilet or the potty?? I had this trouble with my dd1 also asd..
She would NOT go on the toilet so I got the potty back out and gradually moved it closer to the bathroom. Eventually she was using it IN the bathroom and then she moved herself to the toilet
hth...

this was when she was 4 btw... shes 5 now and alot better...

a visual timetable might help.... sorry I keep thinking of things!

we had this with DS thou he wasn't talking just not keen to go, then we clicked why he wouldn't go and i think it was because he needed time to prosseess the request & the fact that if he was watching a thomas video or something, he thought it would mean the end of this if he went to the loo, so we would tell him toilet and then say press pause then say toilet then more thomas, once he understood thomas would continue after the toilet he was fine.

We finally gave in today and out our ds3 back in waterprroof pants > as he is now wetting dai;y agin, I thini this is the third time or fourth that we have got training down pat, a routinechange happened (nursery terms, etc) and then off it all goes again.

The advice I would give is take your ds to Mothercare or similar and let him choose his own potty, hopefully you can find one in an obsession (it's Thomas here with ds3 as well)if ds has one. Then just focus on that, keeping it well away from the bathroom at first, and gradually move the familiar potty back into the bathroom, eventually right up to the toilet. If you own your house (we're rented) decorate the in stickers toilet in stickers when you finally go to try it- let him do it if possible.

Good luck

My son regressed to not even going in the potty - so i'm afraid i went along with him verbally 'no ds1 doesn't need a poo' whilst getting it near him and then feigned huge surprise and lots of praise for what had gone in the potty - even if we'd been too late and i'd kind of tipped it out of his pants in to the potty. eventually he got his nerve back with the potty and then moved him closer to the loo.