DD HAVING SEVERE TANTRUMS ,HEADBANGING ANY ADVICE ?

[wakeinthemorningsmiling]

HI ,MY DEAR DD IS NEARLY 4 AND HAS A LEARNING DIFFICULTY , NO SPEACH AND SINCE STARTING (SPECIAL NEEDS) PRESCHOOL HAS STARTED HAVING MAJOR TANTRUMS WHICH INVOLVE HEADBUTTING ANYTHING IN SIGHT (WORKTOPS , FLOORS MAINLY ,PEOPLE !).
ME AND MY DH ARE AT BREAKING POINT ,WE GOT ADVICE FROM A DISABILITY NURSE AND SHE TOLD US TO PLACE HER ON A SOFT AREA AND BASICLY IGNORE HER ! WE HAVE DONE THAT AND ALSO PLACED PHOTOS AROUND THE HOUSE SO SHE CAN SHOW US WHAT SHE WANTS TO AVOID TANTRUM BUT OVER XMAS IT HAS JUST BEEN EXTREME .
ANYONE WITH SIMILR EXPERIENCE ?

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thankyou toby it is nice to here from you ,i suppose iam expecting it to last a while also, but don`t feel mentally able to cope ,do you have a support network?

Does she get confused out of routine?
Lots of people have problems in the school hols and especially Christmas with so much going on.

Does she do it at school?
May be worth talking to staff when she goes back.At least you may get a consistant approach to it if she does it there too.

My dd2 used to head bang and had a lot of tantrums (age 2-3)which we eventually found out this was when she had hearing problems and was frustrated because of her lack of communication.Have you/school tried signing with her?It might be an alternative to the pictures,some children prefer sign/some childrenprefer PECS?

hi nikki,
tried makaton last year and dd never picked it up ,they do signing in her class and she still not picked it up! school says she doesnt do it at school and that she prefers photos .find it hrd to believe she doesnt do it at school .
she does strive on routine and has obsessions of turning pages in books and has certain things she likes to say.chrismas was busy and 3 days after she was still playing with old toys !

Thought you'd prob have tried it.Could be worse because of christmas but see how it goes over next week or 2 and ask school/Sn hv? anyone that may help to advise/meet? to discuss and see if anyone has notice a possible trigger.

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Can she imitate? If she can't she will struggle with signing. Have you introduced PECS. My eldest son (non verbal 7) has only just learned to imitate, cannot sign but has been communicating with PECS since he was 3 or 4- it does cut down on the tantrums, although he does still headbang at times.

Havent seen her imitating as yet ! what do you mean by pecs ? we have laminated photos of food velcroed to walls in the kitchen, this seems to help, we are going to continue through out the house , but still you cant do photo`s for things like hot or cold can you!

we had a portage worker and she was great but dd has been going to a sn preschool since sep , she goes and comes back on transport so i don`t get any support now .

PECS . We went on some training courses- they're very good. Does the school not use PECS? I make a lot of resources myself, but the school are happy to help out.

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Thanks for advice ,

dd is capable of soo much and at times can imitate but she does not request she just starts winjing when she wants something and we have to guess whats wrong ,try to encourage her to try to comunicate but she is very strong willed !She has started to throw toys in temper and before the headbutting she used to go on the nauty step,i have tried doing this when headbutting starts to see how far she will go , thinking she wont want to hurt herself.But she just goes for it on the stairgates and bannisters.desperate to gain control .stress management has been suggested to us has anyone found this helps ?

have to say PECS are brill we used them with ds, we had like a folder on the wall with all these PECS pictures on so when he wanted something he would go and fetch the picture to tell us.
It did take a while for him to get used to it and at first when he was having a meltdown we would move ds to the folder and open it, its as if at first their brain doesnt connect to go and get a picture from it so you have to show them how to do it.

we also used the same PECS pictures for time lines for ds so he knew what was happening and when. in fact we had them allround the house.
there was a wash and bath one in the bathroom, a going out one in the hall, and we then made our own little book to take out with us to try and stop the meltdowns when out so ds allways had a way of communicating with us.

Speack to your speach therapist at your child and family center they should provide you all the things you need for free.

there are some sites on the net that do some free downloads of PECS heres one we found here

TBH I'd get proper help with either PECS or signing - we had to introduce PECS the "proper" way or ds 1 wouldn't have got it- school or as redbull suggests a SALT should be able to help. Who suggested strss management? They should be helping your dd to communicate more effectiively- then you wouldn't need stress management! (Sorry but whoever suggested that seems to have it back to front to me- there's a fixable problem them- or if not fixable a problem with a lot of potential partial solutions- that should be worked on first. I get quite stressed when ds1 headbutts hard things, I get less stressed when I give him his PECS so he c an stop headbutting and tell me what he wants. We needed a lot of help setting PECS up with him though.

hi,
gp suggested stress management as my husband had a stroke through stress,headbutting only started since sepember although she has always had megga tantrums!.You are soo right hopefully there is a bit we can do to help ,its difficult to know who as dd has had no dx,we are almost certain she has a form of autism and keep mentioning it to consultents and teachers but they say nothing , we are gonna have to start pushing for a review ,even though she only got statemented in june!.