Residential any thoughts or advice welcome

[cansu]

Ds aged 15 has a severe Asd and is hard to manage. I also have a younger dd with milder Asd. I am often reduced to tears trying to cope with his behaviour and have been thinking more about whether he should be a weekly boarder. He attends a school for children with Asd where weekly boarding is possible. He has some respite there once a month and appears to be reasonably content there. It would of course be a massive fight to get this and my dp (also autistic) has always resisted this option. I would love to hear any positive or negative stories of others who have taken this decision so I can weigh this up. Obviously I feel guilty about taking this step and also fearful of giving away some of my parental rights in this way.

Bumping

I can't really help with your direct inquiry, but if you are thinking of going down this route I would suggest that you ask immediately for a full social care assessment on the basis that he is a child in need within the meaning of the Children Act 1989, and try to get respite care increased. The more social care that is in place the better, because it will mean that the costs of staying at his current school plus social care costs may well be very similar to the costs of residential school.

My DS is 15 and has been in residential for 3 years. It's been the best thing for him - he has learned far more independent and social skills than he would have at home and it has been a more consistent environment for him. Things are much calmer when he is at home for holidays/weekends, and during the school week it means I get full respite and can focus on my own needs.

I don't know much about going for social care funding as we got our placement through education funding only (had to go to tribunal). We didn't have a social care assessment and SS weren't involved. DS isn't a looked after child so I haven't lost any sort of parental rights, although I think it is different if a child boards for 52 weeks (DS does 38 weeks so is home for every holiday). I'm a single mum (with exP not involved) so I didn't have any issues with having to get DS's dad to agree. I expect you'd have to get your DP to agree in your case though.

No, you don't lose parental rights even for a 52 week placement. We didn't.

I agree about the social care assessment.

Dd loved residential school; it was the happiest time of her life. To be in an environment where she was understood, after school activities every day, lots of friends and no mainstream! (This was the 39 week placement, although later she never realised she was on a 52 week placement, due to no sense of time)