Is it possible to get support when a child looks like they don't need it?

[LeChien]

Ds2 looks fine in school, he doesn't have meltdowns at all. He will show a little bit of anxiety, and teachers have noticed that he struggles a little with change.
HT says that he will not get an EHCP as he doesn't need 1:1, I mostly agree with that.
However, what they can't see is high levels of anxiety, particularly during maths and when he's told off (he says this happens several times a day). This causes him to have meltdowns at home.
I'm meeting his teacher (also the senco) next week, hopefully his reports from paed/psych will be here.
Is there any point asking for a few small changes, or under the circumstances do we ignore?

We do our best to support ds through his stress, but there's very little we can do other than manage his behaviour when he's had a difficult day at school.

We have been in your situation with school saying much the same and are in the final stages of EHCP so yes you can get there

However, you havent said if your DC is assessed, diagnosed or supported by any health professionals

If not perhaps start with your gp for either CAMHS or Paediatric assessment of the anxiety then you will have a better understanding for the health part of the EHCP which could then access more educational support too

Sorry, he is diagnosed with PDA or HFA with demand avoidance.
It was a private diagnosis, if that makes a difference!
I might email the psychologist we saw and ask her opinion on support in school.

Hi LeChien. Your DS sounds a lot like my DD. She copes well at school but brings the stress and meltdowns home. We're not as far along as you but i suspect will get a diagnosis of PDA or HFA. I think you should definitely ask for help/changes in school because it's causing him anxiety. Surely the staff have a responsibility to help a child to feel comfortable and able to learn. I have mentioned things that make my DD feel uncomfortable like asking that she goes after other children in PE so she can observe what to do rather than having to make direct eye contact with the PE teacher.

Wow your DS sounds like my dd. can I ask who you got a private diagnosis from? We have a private diagnosis of generalised anxiety disorder with aspergers traits and are currently on a long NHS waiting list for asd assessment

"Surely the staff have a responsibility to help a child to feel comfortable and able to learn."
Yes, you would think so!
Unfortunately, all they have done so far is see a deluded mother being overly precious about her child! Hopefully a diagnosis will change that.

Poo, ds had a NHS assessment at the beginning of the year, but despite meeting the criteria of ASD in both the ADOS and DISCO, he didn't get a diagnosis because he is fine in school and the behaviour is all apparently learnt!
We lost faith in them.
We saw Dr Jo jones and Dr Judy Eaton two weeks ago (neither could understand why he didn't get a diagnosis). I can thoroughly recommend them both. Judy saw straight through ds and saw how angry he was, even though he was doing a good impression of being relaxed and happy.

If you need any more info feel free to pm me.