Just wondering as at the moment we're undecided about what to do next. We have 5 DC, 2 with severe disabilities and 3 with mild (DS2 and DS4 get DLA and I get carers allowance for DS4). All 5 have appointments. DS4 has regular operations (6 so far and he is only 20 months old). I have PND and can't drive (I'm severely dyspraxic). DH has been off sick from work with stress for the last 6 months. DH has used up a lot of parental leave in the last few years and work have been getting really fed up with him. We struggle to get people to help with the DC and when DS4 has an operation, DH needs the time off work so he can look after the older DC's (I take 8 month old DS5 with me). A couple of times DH's work has refused him the time off and it's been really stressful trying to sort out childcare for the others.
We're at that stage now where DH has to either go back to work or he'll be sacked. He wants to claim carers allowance for DS4 and do some freelancing work from home (less than the £100 a week limit) to bring more money in. I'm worried about doing that as I'm sure I read somewhere about the government bringing in a policy where you can't have 2 carers in one family so if they did that we'd be screwed. It doesn't feel very secure to me, we could quite easily be in a much more difficult situation very quickly with all the cuts and sanctions going on. We can't go on with DH in that job though, it just isn't working and DH has been struggling there for a long time before he went off sick.
Does anyone else do this and does it work for you? We're not entitled to any help/respite btw despite us begging and the midwife who looked after me when I had DS5 begging (DC not disabled enough apparently 
. SS don't seem to offer the support that we need anyway. I need someone to come out with me with all the DC's to help at appointments, transport etc. If we qualified for "support" we would get someone to take DS2 and DS4 out somewhere so I just had the other 3. That would be nice but not worth the hassle and humiliation that having SS involved would bring (we were entitled to help when DS2 was a baby and we stopped it after a year because it wasn't worth it).
Also would DH need to register as SE and declare his income when I do the renewal for tax credits? He would earn about £250-£350 a month. MIL seems to think he wouldn't have to but I'm pretty sure he needs to. Mind you MIL thinks I should work from home and sell customized baby bits on ebay/facebook (I do the odd tie dye vests, bibs etc for my own babies and presents for other people if I have time but I rarely get the chance) although who she thinks is going to look after the DC while I do that I don't know.