10 things you should never say to the parent of a disabled child

[RebeccaWhizzKidz]

We at Whizz-Kidz want to know 10 things you should never say to the parent of a disabled child - a bit like this article on 10 things you should never say to fostered children www.parentdish.co.uk/2014/12/30/10-things-you-should-never-say-to-fostered-children/

We'd love to hear your funny/shocking/obvious comments to the above.

Thanks!

Rebecca @ Whizz-Kidz
(whizz-kidz.org.uk)

I don't know how you do it....I couldn't do it.
Not as though we have a choice, so this really annoys me.

"Oh what a shame. He/she is so beautiful."

That desperate instinct that makes people want to look on the bright side rather than simply accepting your sadness. "At least he can still xyz" (in other words, chin up, your child isn't as disabled as some.)

but he looks alright doesn't he ? .. normally children with a disability look disabled ?.. really .. ? I've just had to carry on and think that people can be hurtful and possibly naive without realising what they say can be hurtful & thoughtless ... it's about thinking about what the effects a careless comment can have

"My friend/neighbour/hairdresser has a child much more disabled than yours!"
It's not a frigging competition.

Or "What do you do when they are at school? Don't you want a job?"

God wouldn't have given him to a parent that couldn't cope.

Awwww bless

You wouldn't know to look at him.

Agree THE most annoying is "I don't know how you do it/cope. I couldn't".

Weren't you brave to have second child

Oh well, I suppose he hasn't known any different as he was born like it.

"At least you get to park in the school!"

To DD in wheelchair "aren't you lucky getting a seat while your little brother has to walk" - seriously nearly punched my neighbour that day

"All children are difficult, don't think you are special"

There are probably more if I think about it properly

"what a shame"

need I say more

I have three disabled children....

Are they better yet?
Makes me want to scream no, and they never will be, there is no cure.

Don't worry, he'll catch up.

All teenagers just grunt, so no one will notice his speech disorder.

Let's meet at the park

• I've got one child in a wheelchair, one on crutches and one who can't walk far without pain and fatigue......the park is not exactly easy for us!

Have you tried Calpol?
errrrrr.......I just told you they are on long term strong painkillers and anti inflammatory medicine - do you really think I hadn't tried Calpol???

Well he's not really disabled is he? He looks ok to me.

I never would have known, he's always so perfectly behaved when I see him.

Well, he'll grow out of it.

I don't know how you do it?

How do you cope?

The reality is I have to 'do it and cope'. I don't have an option so I pick myself up, smile nicely and get on with it!

What about: "At least Sam is healthy" where Sam is the NT sibling.

God only gives children like that to people who can cope!!!!

I think he really enjoys the attention of being in his wheelchair - really I'm sure as an 8 year old boy in a mainstream school he really wouldn't chose to use a wheelchair given the choice, as you can tell I still have steam coming out of my ears at this one

I’d rather them say something then just stare honestly.

But if I had to pick maybe...
“My kids are way more difficult”

“Don’t say special needs you’ll make people think he’s retarded and he’s so smart”
“Why did you have more kids then”