Dd is fighting everything - getting dressed, personal care transfers..etc etc

[Toots38]

I really hope someone can help me ! Dd has started to fight everything we do with her. Getting dressed, nappy change, putting a coat on even though she knows it to go the swing, getting in and out of her buggy ... You get the picture. I use makaton signs to explain to her, try to be v v calm. Make sure she is ready for movement. She is 3 and non verbal. She has low muscle tone, but she can be v strong and rigid when she wants to.
I am dreading the next nappy change. Even with her fave tv show on she fights.
This has just started since she came out of hospital about 10 days ago. Is it a trauma of some sort? She had no canulas pit in but she did require a lot of medical attention .

My DD who is now 6 has periods like this. It is hard very hard. I think with her it is frustration that she wants to do things herself and just can't. Although she is verbal until recently she couldn't express herself to explain. No real advice we use a mix of bribery and making sure we leave enough time for her to do things. I have also been known to chuck her over my shoulder and take her out in her pjs when we have to get somewhere and I just can't get her out of the house!! Generally she is better and calmer once we are out. Good luck!

I feel that my ds does this when he is trying to demonstrate independence (these episodes generally follow on from improvements in other areas of development). Maybe your dd is reassuring herself that she can be in control after experiencing what can be a traumatic and deindividualising experience at hospital. By trial and error I've found that not passing comment either negative or positive whilst battling to dress him but be really positive when he does try to help me. I also try and develop his autonomy by giving him tasks associated with dressing that he can do himself. This can be tricky because of his level of understanding, but now going to fetch his own nappies (for now) has made all the difference. I feel for you, I still feel the panic rising at getting ready for school time. Good luck

Thanks both of you for your replies. I think maybe it as an assertion of independence to gain control after hospital. She is so much more aware now that the sight of the paramedics really frightens her.
I will try to give her more to be involved with during dressing, nappy changes etc.
I always hope there is going to be a magic " oh it's easy just say abracadabra" style answer ... But it never is. Oh well time and patience. Thanks again.