How to deal with extreme rudeness in DD

[bumpyboo]

I would very much appreciate some advice from someone with more experience.My dd is 6 years old and is currently waiting for a final assessment for Aspergers. Over the past year she has become increasingly rude at home. She will call us childish names poo face etc etc and also sometimes says things like, I wish you were dead, I hate myself. She often called herself stupid.
When she calls us names we are firm and tell her it is hurtful, we have found that punishment, eg no iPad or remove favorite toys works for a while.
I felt as though we were dealing with it but on a recent family holiday I noticed that other family members seemed to be quite shocked by her behaviour.
I'm wondering, has anyone experienced this kind of rudeness/ behaviour and if so, what was effective in dealing with it?
Thanks.

I agree with polter about ignoring, my eldest who is undiagnosed but to mind has Aspergers and probably a meassure of ADHD thrown in used to feed off attention of any kind, she really didnt care if it was positive or negative and it was very easy to get into a negative spiral with her.

She would be rude so I would tell her off, she would be angry for being told off and be more rude and so on and so on.

Dont take it personally, ignore it as much as possible but them praise her for every single tiny positive thing she says or does, go overboard with praise for daft things eg. "Brilliant Dd you carried your plate to the dishwasher" or "Fantastic, you picked your coat up off the floor" You get the idea Be on the lookout all the time for things to praise, it is hard at first but it gets easier.

I think the name calling will disappear if it doesnt get the attention anymore!

Good luck

I ignore minor rude comments.

If very disrespectful, I just say 'we don't talk to each other like that' or words to that effect.

Thanks all for your advice, I will get DH to read it as well. I think I also need to rope in the extended family who at the moment are not really aware of any Autism diagnosis being on the cards. I guess it was more really that they were quite shocked/ cross at the rudeness.