Today I handled a situation very badly

[noslimbody]

Ds is 11 and is HF ASD with ADHD. He was chatting with his 4 year old sister, and she fell over and landed on his chest, he was lying on the
floor. He then pushed her off and she ran off crying. I didn't see properly what happened and told him he must be careful with his sister because she is 7 years younger than him, and could get hurt more easily. He understands what I am saying but obviously took it to mean "You hurt your sister on purpose and are a bad and terrible boy" I apologised afterwards, and tried to explain but it was too late. He spent the evening in tears, and I ruined his day
Sorry I don't expect any replies just feeling awful and stressed about it. He relies on me to understand him, to help him with his anxieties, and now look what I did!

Dont beat yourself up no we all get it wrong sometimes.

You sound like a great mum, you have apologised now move on. Do something nice today and get back to normal. I have already said this once the week but on here we are all amazing parents but we are human and are allowed to make a few mistakes.

Have a lovely day and good luck

I don't think you handled it badly. It's a learning curve. I caused a meltdown six months ago which looking back was my fault. I learnt something new from it, and I'm pretty sure I will do things differently next time.

It was a more painful lesson than you intended, but one he needed to learn so do not beat yourself up. Hopefully he'll need no more reminders going forward. Maybe bake some cakes or do something else where he can "help" his younger sibling today so you can all smile and rebond?

Sounds like you did fine to me. Sometimes whatever you say it will be "wrong"!

I am forever dealing with incidents like this between my 2 (DS = 7, SPD & ASD, short fuse, prone to impulsive lashing out but uber-sensitive to criticism; DD = 3 and winds DS up!).

I tend to go with "I know you didn't mean to hurt her and I know she was annoying you, but you must try really hard to be gentle" type stuff. Even so he often gets hysterical in response!

zzzzz's shit sandwich suggestion is great!

You did a great thing. You can't protect your DS from feeling bad if he's done something wrong, even if it was accidental.

It feels awful but you're helping him to understand that he is growing bigger and stronger.

I hope he's calmed down by now and you can have some nice moments to soften the impact.