long rant on friends children today ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[redbull]

friday was ds 5th bday so we had 2 partys as it would be to much for ds so today friend brought her 2 children round 1 who is ASD the other they dont know yet whats wrong with him.

what a fucking nightmare the day was, first of we got ds a battery powered car friends ds1 as obsessed with it and would not let ds have a go in his own car, her ds2 got sand in ds eyes so ds splahed water on her ds2 and then her ds2 pulled ds finger right back ds was crying so was her ds2 when asked what happened friend replied obviouslly !!!! splased !!!!! so he hurt your ds

the whole day its been her poor children and im feeling angry as my ds is also autistic and his needs and problems have been completely over looked.

had row with dp over it he says im OTT about it what do you think????

sorry can't offer any advice but understand how you feel. get wound up when parents always think their kids are right.

no experience with special needs, but if I were to visit someone who's lo has sn then I'd make bl*dy sure that my kids are behaving. Assuming that ASD makes it harder to 'control' the kids, but surely then I wouldn't automatically assume it's the other kid that started it/ is wrong etc. or make light of it if one of them gets distressed, especially if sn.

Not much help, but I don't think you were ott :) I would get pretty annoyed if my friend would display that kind of stance and that's with 'normal' kids.

just feel so angry and upset at the moment,another thing that happened is i found friends ds1 putting a plastic bag that he got out of his moms handbag over ds head

dp is saying that im over reacting as friends dh does nothing to help her and she cant handle them all her self, now me and dp are arguing about it all as i cant understand why he is taking their side with it. from what i see they are in the wrong friend did not once tell either of her children off or tell them to take turns so why is dp defending them and not thinking about me or our ds???

I think its part of getting autistic children together thought isn;t it. I might visit a friend tomorrow but I know that if ds1 goes near the TV then her dd will hit him, and I know that ds1 will pretend to turn the TV off to wind her up and make her scream. I think full supervision is required to prevent these things- and that not much can be done about it really.

jimjam, had to smile at your description re TV on/off... believe me... that scenario is common place in our home and both my kids are not sn :)

As for the plastic bag . Did she at least try intervene?

no she did nothing and i ended up saying to my ds dont put bags on your head as i couldnt tell friends ds off in front her or even behind her back as he would totally freack,

my friend is way to soft on her kids just because they are autistic like my ds she doesnt tell them off blames everything on their disability but her ds1 is very clever she totally underestamates him